If my dad has your e-mail you already know this...

So my dad sent out an e-mail this morning.  He's proud of me which is good.  But the e-mail included his whole family, his friends at church, and half of his business partners.  So anyway... it has been an eventful week. 
Monday the 10th I turned in my last final.  Tuesday was Jeremy's birthday.  The trivia team didn't do as well as hoped, but we did spend out $40 in gift certificates.  Wednesday was uneventuful but I downloaded Photoshop Elements, a new toy to play with. Thursday I almost finished my Christmas shopping. Friday I baked lemon cookies and saw I am Legend which is much better than Will Smith just talking to himself.  Saturday I Saturday I had British food and listened to Appalachian music.  Sunday I found a child under the Christmas tree at the front of the church and made a whole bunch of stars and angels.  Monday I proposed a project to a dental lab and got a job at Rice University.  Tuesday I got my grades and went to the museum then I kinda got elected for a three year term.  I made glazed pecans and went to trivia.  Wednesday I repeated a 30+ year tradition and continued to finish my Christmas shopping.  I also met Asher, the cutest kid with porcupine hair I've seen. I also made gravy. 

So anyway... I'm done with school I have a job and I won't start for three weeks.  I'm going to be a patent manager at Rice University, at least for awhile.  Can't tell yet what the job will really look like to explain it but I'll learn a lot.  Which was really the goal of this whole librarian thing to start with. 

Dear Management 2+ (there have been many, it is turning to a running theme)

If you are going to start enforcing the towing rules suddenly you should inform people.  Oh wait, you didn't inform us yet that there has been a change in management so why would you tell us there is a change in the towing rules either?

And while you are at it you could work on getting more parking.  That would be nice.  Because there is no place to park because people just leave their cars in the lot forever.  So if you are going to tow because someone is in the wrong spot you need to make sure they have a right spot to park. 

Btw, it is actually (a lot) cheaper to get a parking ticket for kind of parking illegally than it is to get towed off private property. 

Under new management

In the continuing saga of my apartment office (packages misplaced, rent checks misplaced, delayed work orders for holes in my shower, etc.):

We have a new management company here.  This was only made news to me by the maintenance guy that eventually came to fix my shower.  He used to be my neighbor.  His name is Carlos, he won't have a job in two weeks.  Oh, and the signs that went up saying the office would be closed the entire weekend because of the new management, and we should put our rent checks in the drop box.  Which I won't do, because they will lose them. 

Anyway.  I went to get two packages yesterday.  I had two slips.  They brought out one.  I told them I had two.  I said it nicely.  The new lady (I know it is stressful the first week on the job) put her hands on her hips and told me it wasn't there.  That the postman had put it in twice cause I hadn't picked it up.  Pray tell a) when was I supposed to pick it up when you are only there 9-5 and the rest of the world is working and b) when did anyone here get that organized.  I told them I had a receipt of a package that was not the Amazon package they were giving me.  They went back and found my 16"x16"x16" box clearly marked with the number 57 all over it.  She took her hands off her hips.  I told them Thank you and that I knew it was a poorly organized system back there and left. 

So I know we are under new management.  I know I've now lived here far longer than anyone in the old office or in the new office.  I also know they didn't introduce themselves when I came in.  Or inform me what the name of the new company was in any way.  I'm also pretty sure rent is going up when my lease runs out.  In other news, I might be moving in March.

Why you care: For all of you planning on mailing me packages this holiday season I won't get it (especially not UPS, cause those guys don't even bother to leave one of those post-it notes, or actually knock on my door) unless I know it is coming.  Then I can go down with a receipt... and argue. 

Happy holidays.

December 15th

December 15th is the most popular day this year to throw a Christmas party.  I personally have been invited to four.  On no other days mind you, except for a church one on the 16th.  Four.  On one night.  I'm going to one.

Divorce and the environment... well duh

I'll point you to a study that was reported on here: http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5349282.html.

Seems like this is fairly obvious and I don't think it will keep anyone from getting divorced.  I wonder if it will cause greater co-habitation and marriage.  I doubt that too.  So I wish I'd thought of this study and gotten a grant from the federal government to do it.  That would have been nice.

In other news rent is going up.  Seems the sub-prime market puts pressure on the rental market. 

Almost... finished...

I'm almost finished with grad school.  One website to finish (here you go: http://slis.jayfox.net/kaw0204/mfahomepage.html... best viewed on IE for some reason we don't know), one presentation of said website, and one final exam. 

I'm not going to my graduation.  So it will kind of just end and I'll get my diploma in the mail in eight weeks.  So I'll probably throw myself a ceremony, put on my BU gown and stand on the coffee table with my diploma. 

No gifts please.

Now soliciting suggestions

Every year I buy a Christmas gift for a child that has a parent in prison.  One year I got a boa (as in scarf), one year I got legos.  This year I have a twelve year old buy and I'm to get him a book.  Apparently his likes football.  Any ideas out there? 
Apparently Matt Christopher is for younger kids than this one.  My twelve year old girl is getting a Rascal Flats CD.  She wanted a country CD, so I asked an 11 year old girl and without a pause she said "Carrie Underwood" and "Rascal Flats."  That's a tip for any of my readers out there shopping for preteens in Texas.

Flying Saucer

It is actually four pages, but the fourth page is different combinations of beer found on the first three pages. So I guess it doesn't count.

The Engines of Our Ingenuity

http://www.uh.edu/engines/epi2294.htm

by John H. Lienhard

Click here for audio of Episode 2294.

Today, I'll contaminate the Internet. The University of Houston's College of Engineering presents this series about the machines that make our civilization run, and the people whose ingenuity created them.

The other day, a friend showed me his program for the Tom Stoppard play, Arcadia, which he'd just seen. The play has a lot in it about early 19th-century science and technology. It's hailed as a kind of meeting ground for C. P. Snow's two cultures, the sciences and the humanities. The program notes made much of that and said that the play incorporates Newton's second law of thermodynamics. So I Googled Newton's second law of thermodynamics and got 3270 hits. Now, when I post this script, there'll be even more.

In any case, my friend was rightly appalled. For this is right up there with the flat earth and denials of evolution. When Newton wrote his second law of motion, he completely altered the way we deal with our world. But the subject of thermodynamics would not arise for another century and a half.

Newton's second law says that to accelerate any body we have to apply a force equal to its mass times the rate of acceleration. The much later second law of thermodynamics says that the potential of energy for doing useful work is constantly degraded by irreversible events. That knowledge was also destined to radically alter our world view.

The two laws are completely unrelated. Irreversibility is unknown in the world of Newton's laws. Stoppard's actors recognize that fact. One character says, flat out, that the newly formulated laws of heat flow threaten Newton's determinism.

So a blunder was made in the program notes. No big deal by itself; we all make mistakes. But this one was so quotable that it echoes down through the Internet's corridors. The Internet leaves an indelible record, and too few people know enough to question it.

Just this morning, a newspaper feature on scientific illiteracy listed ten things we should all know and gave a brief explanation of each -- stuff like DNA, evolution, relativity, the big bang, quantum mechanics. It was all good stuff, but it did not include the older -- and still essential -- laws of physics.

It did include statistics, where so many of us trip, but what about handling simple numbers? I just went to the web and typed in "Joan of Arc, Noah's wife." I got fifteen thousand hits. Article after article reported the fraction of Americans who thought that Joan of Arc was Noah's wife. Some said six percent, others ten, twelve, twenty -- I even saw sixty percent.

That shows pretty low respect for numerical accuracy from the very people concerned with illiteracy. It also gives me pause. As I do my dance in favor of technological literacy, how much mischief do I sow among people listening with half an ear? Well, I've really done it this time -- by posting this script, I've created one more citation to Newton's non-existent second law of thermodynamics on that un-erasable mirror that we call the Internet.

I'm John Lienhard, at the University of Houston, where we're interested in the way inventive minds work.

(Theme music)

---

T. Stoppard, Arcadia. (Faber & Faber, 1994.)

C. Cookson, Numbers + Symbols = Confusion. Life & Arts, Financial Times, Sunday, Nov. 25, 2007, pp. 1-2

I am grateful to Charlie Dalton, UH Mechanical Engineering Dept. for showing me the "Newton's second law of thermodynamics" blunder.

Thanksgiving at the grocery

I never thought I would want to promote families going to Luby's, Boston Market, or to a steakhouse for Thanksgiving dinner.  Today I do.  I went to the store today to pick up three items (Sam had graciously gone last night at 11PM, but I forgot to ask for, didn't think about, and he couldn't find these three things).  I left the museum early even to avoid any rush.  Still there were couples blindly wondering the baking aisle looking for stuffing.  There were parents piloting their grown children.  There was even a couple with a bag of pecans and a pie shell arguing over what else was in a pecan pie.


Everything you need is in the front of the store folks.  Everything you could possibly need... unless you were me, looking for instant flour and parchment paper. 



In other news I have a second interview next Tuesday.  If you are the praying type pray, if you are another type think happy thoughts... one way or another, that I'll discern and fall my way to where I'm supposed to be. 

Pocket doors

A pocket door is a door that slides between the two sides of a wall.  I think sometimes they are called "recessed" but in any case there are two slits on either side of the door that papers and whatnot could be shoved in.  No G.I. Joes though. 

Huntsville

Yesterday I went to Huntsville to take my old students to visit some more of my old students.

I told my mom this before I left.  I got a blank stare before she started to as "what did they do?"

Oh... their at Sam Houston State, not prison. 

Fair enough, Mom, fair enough...

The little thief

I haven't lived in the house on Rosefield since I was a freshman in high school. 

In 1983, when I was two, before I could talk I used to play with my mom and my dad's wallet.  For some reason they let me take out all the credit cards and bang them together.  I guess for the same reason people two year olds are now playing with cell phones.  Whatever that is.  One day the credit cards went missing and I, being the only mobile child was the usual suspect. 

"Kate, where are Mommy's credit cards?"

To which I promptly walked to the pocket door in the kitchen and pointed. 

My parents tried in vain to fish them all out, failing to retrieve all but a few they reordered the credit cards, the loyalty cards, and anything else I hid and considered them all lost.  They expired and life moved on.  I don't know if I was allowed to play with the wallets anymore. 

Earlier this week the hardwood flooring company that worked on the house on Rosefield, the one that my dad works with, got a call.  They gave out my mom's number and she got a call.  The pocket door has been remodeled out of existence and the credit cards were found.  The woman that bought the house offered to return them, an offer my parents declined, though I wish they had accepted.  It is the only story of two year old Kate I know. 

She also still has the door frame that marks off our heights, completely unpainted.  Which is kinda weird. 

Web 2.0

Ok...
So I went to this continuing ed (ah, continuing ed when you're still in school!) thing on Saturday and they were talking about all that Web 2.0 stuff.  So I've resolved to go at it more systematically than just playing with the Internet every now and then.  Ill consider it a fourth class to take.  I've already done a lot of this stuff, but I figured I'd share this (the links here haven't been updated, it is still in progress cause it is actually a "class" people are taking... but you can work on it with the blog posts to the right)....

http://ihcpl2.blogspot.com/2007/08/23-things.html
and here is another that isn't in progress, but is slightly different...  http://plcmcl2-things.blogspot.com/

I'll even give Second Life another try...

Peace.

Request

So I've asked some of you to "be on this one" but I figured I'd share more generally.  I'm entering the "I'm looking for a job" stage of my little hiatus from the working world.  Grad school is almost over (I'm going to make a paper chain to count down the days tomorrow) and I feel like I should be able to turn that into a job.  Since that was one of the goals of grad school.  So pray for me please.  Think happy thoughts for me if you aren't the praying type.  I'll take it all. 

The First Annual Bake Off

Hirsch Library had its first annual bake off yesterday. It was quite a treat.

1st for taste - Kerri's cupcakes
1st for creativity - Sarah's lamb for the slaughter
1st for presentation - Kate's hayride

Pictures...

Ok fine, picture have been (kind of) edited and are now here:


http://flickr.com/send?photostream=76105532@N00


Large chunks didn't get photographed, or couldn't be anyway... and the obsession with accommodations was more of an exercise in compare and contrast.  All of the beds were singles shoved together with separate duvets.  Which is just about the best idea ever. 
On to work on my census homework. 

I may never know what the devil is going on...

While away I glanced at CNN.com on occasion.  Not much, and really just enough to know a rapper had been busted with machine guns.  And I knew something was up with Turkey when I looked at the State Department website to figure out the visa situation. 

I returned Tuesday.  I woke up to NPR on Wednesday... and then this morning I woke up to a pledge drive.  Since it started on a Thursday I can only presume it will go until next Friday.

Even if I cut them a check right now they would still go blathering on about the value of such cultural institutions in a community.  Then I'd resent that I was paying for them to ask me for money.

Alternative Holidays

In Vienna there were already some shops set up to sell Christmas wares.  While it isn't yet Halloween I thought I'd share some Alternative Holidays resources and ideas and ask ya'll to share any you have.  Cause we're blessed. 

Heifer Project
International Justice Mission
M.D. Anderson Children's Art Project
Friends of Houston Public Library
Thanksgiving Dinner for the Homeless
Brookwood: Pottery by the functionally disabled
The Hunger Site Store
Fair Trade Coffee, Tea, and Chocolate
Ten Thousand Villages

Oh Yukio! Or things to consider when staying in a hostel

Good idea to confine your things to a corner of the room.  Bad idea to put your dirty laundry in various cabinets around the dorm.

Good idea to clean the dishes after you use them, not before.  Especially if you burned the rice.

You really don't need to buy vodka for yourself, there will be plenty left around from previous guests.

Good idea say hello to your roommates.  Or at least look at them and smile.

If you are going to eat cereal out of the common bowl use the ladle.  Not your hands.

Slurping is gross.

You can ask a stranger to "pass the bread" or to point.  You don't have to get up and walk around the table to avoid them.

Packing your things in 50 plastic bags is weird.  It is also weird to rustle with them until midnight and wake up to do it again in the morning.

We know it doesn't take two and a half hours to cook rice.  We know you are avoiding us. 

Even if you think everyone in the room is asleep... don't walk around in your briefs.

Get a bit of a mental map of the room so you don't slam into the other guests beds at top speed in the dark.

If you do trip on someone's stuff, it isn't necessary to hold your wound for ten minutes.  You don't need sound effects.  Get over it.

Taking a nap in the morning when you've kept your roommates up most of the night with your rustling of plastic bags will invite contempt.

If you are a competent member of Japan's PSIA you fooled us.  We think you're borderline autistic. 

Homophones

Westbahnhof

We thought there was a train leaving Vienna everz hour.  Turns out thatäs reallz on the weekdazs... and it is Sundaz.  Forgot about that.  So weäve got toms time to kill before leaving the Mecca of great coffee. 

 

To sum up.  Been to the small, medium, and large of teastern European cities... a good summarz of what the Hapsburg Empire has become.  And what communism did... even fifteen zears and more later.  All of these cities are beautiful in their own waz, and invite varzing reflections on the state of the world todaz.  Still chewing.  In some cases fast food is a blight, in other places it is simplz the most comforting thing zou can find in a foreign train station at 5AM. 

 

Iäve been talking to Bethanz for almost eight dazs straight too.  Which will also invite all kinds of varzing reflections.  Still chewing. 

 

On the state of being content... it isnät verz comforting to be far from home and not know where zou )or how far awaz it is) are going to sleep that night, to not know if the ticket home is actuallz a ticket... or some sort os reservation that looks like a ticket.  It also makes me crankz. 

 

Back to Budapest...

 

 

 

Did zou know...

Bucharest is one big parking lot with a bunch of straz dogs.  Thez also donät have manz hotel rooms.

Vienna has plentz and has sidewalks to walk on.

 

 

Read Bethanzäs Blog

In the interest of time Iäll ignore the changes in the German kezboard.  It is just enough to be reallz annozing. 

In anz case we are in Wein now, planning on spending the night and then heading back to Budapest.  We had a bit of a run in with the police, though reallz I slept through most of it... we still have our passports though and are hoping to file for refugee status as an underwater hockey team.  Hez the Moldovanäs did it.  Twice.

 

Oh... the communists trzing to look like Paris is more than a little interesting. 

 

If zou can afford it... alwazs get the sleeper car.  Always.

 

German operas with Hungarian subtitles are great... and ÄMexicanÄ hotels in the heart of Budapest are also lovelz.  Coffee is good.. weäre getting lots of it. 

 

And Iäm going to have a craving for polenta, sour cream, and goat cheese when I get back.  Start looking up Romanian food. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Sam

Hey Sam,

Tell Mőm were going to Istanbul... for more details I will refer you to Bethanys blog. 

Peace out,

Kate

 

P.S. Tonight we will be at the Yellow Submarine Lotus Youth Hostel.

Referal

Two hours till my ride gets here.  I have a lunch to eat and a bunch of stuff to shove into a rucksack.  I finished my homework though... so with the exception of my 1.5 hour midterm that will so rudely interrupt my vacation (it is still the best 12 days we could have picked)... I'm done for awhile.  Grad school is a piece of cake, if you aren't trying to work a 55 hour a week job at the same time. 

When I get back I'll start looking for jobs to apply for.  I'm considering this week a space for a bit of soul searching... I can't talk to Bethany consecutively for THAT many hours.

So I'm not actually planning on writing much while I'm gone.  I'm just not.  In an case I'll refer you to the partner in crime over at Fair Trade Certified in case she writes any.  Or you want to compare our stories.  There's a great moth story in there... she's a better writer than I am anyway.

This Day in History

For all you Yankees and Texans that weren't here in 4th grade I'll offer up this link... on The Texas Revolution.

But they should have learned it in high school...

Just for fun from Mr. Wyman. 
Civic Liberties Quiz

TravelEx

Having 26,000 in cash is just neat in any currency. 
Hungarian money is pretty. 

Lobster

Well... Port Charlotte isn't the most sophisticated city in the world. But they did have one of these at Boomer's.

Notes: We have a video, but it is in Iowa. We were unable to verify what you do with it when you win, the waitress was "new" and had never encountered the situation. And yes... Sam played.

Info Sci tip

Planning a trip? http://www.farecast.com/ gives you predictions of when to buy and when to sell.  Like a stock broker for your flight. 

The Word Limit

Word limit is 2500 words:
So far:
2477
2481
2491

Facebook and Exams

I've spent most of the last few days at home.  By 8:45 AM Monday I'd gotten gas and taken Sam's laundry (I'm a good sister and he couldn't before the "deadline" had passed) and made myself a big cup of coffee.  At 9AM my big exam opened.  The one I didn't know what it was going to be like... the one that is in my critical path for me to graduate in December.  Which is in my path of getting the job I want which is in the path of me having an income.  All of those are important. 

So I wrote one essay on Monday.  I wrote another essay on Tuesday.  Unfortunately I had two days left (before I leave town and start editing on the plane) to use the Internet to find all my sources and write my papers.  Which means I squandered half the day away Wednesday on things like getting a new shower head (needed to be done, the wall was getting more water than we were) and on buying bubble wrap for a package I've needed to mail since last June. 

Last night I remembered my last assignment for my class tonight.  Join Facebook.  Oh yes, to join Facebook... and presumably form an opinion on it.  Which means I had to use it.  Which means I got sucked in... which means now, in addition to the Google Reader, the MySpace, the NetFlix, the trip to Budapest, the trip to Florida, and just life I have another distraction.  An assigned distraction.  Not helpful. 

In other news I'm glad I don't procrastinate... or rather I don't when I'm already losing a third of my exam time to go to Florida for the weekend.  Granddaddy's getting married and (almost) all the cousins will be there.  Except David I think... and David's my favorite, or at least the only one that I think might be reading this. 

Hi David!  We'll miss you!

Me name be Bess Red Wench

Tomorrow

I am very much looking forward to tomorrow. Arrr...

Texans e-mail forward (thanks Matt)

A recent study found the average Texan walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found Texans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer per year.

That means, on average, a Texan gets about 41 miles to the gallon.

Everything that Rises must Converge

Web 2.0 ... The Machine is Us/ing Us

Every now and then I think I might just be in one of the coolest fields ever.

Madison

A popular Government without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a Prologue to a Farce or a Tragedy; or perhaps both. Knowledge will forever govern ignorance: And a people who mean to be their own Governors, must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.

-James Madison

The Contest

As though I needed something else to think about:

We're having a Halloween baking contest at the library. Judged on taste, originality, and presentation. Something else to keep in the back of my mind... its rather cluttered at the moment.

Yeah bake offs!

On traveling...

I've got two trips planned in the next month.

The first is to Florida. All I really have to do now is pack my bags and head out for the weekend. All the cousins, aunts, and uncles (sans David :-() are gathering for the big wedding. Most of us haven't met this lady Granddaddy is betrothed to, but I'm sure she's swell. I don't have to plan for this trip. Pack. Get on plane. Get picked up. Go to Perkins sit and wait for people to show up to talk to. Go to wedding. Go to reception. Go to Olive Garden, sit and wait for people to talk to. Fly home. In the middle of all that though I'll be writing my thesis in a week (ok, not a thesis, just the equivalent for my program). I'll edit on the plane. Guess I should see if the hotel has Internet access. I'm guessing no, not the kind of thing Phillips worry about.

The other trip is to Budapest. One month to go (and lots to do before that). I've got a list, a travel guide, and a phrase book (full of useful phrases). Ten days and nothing really planned. Woooohhhhooooo... oh except I have to find and Internet Cafe or something to take my midterm. Bleh.

Lessons learned

If you are picking up a package at the apartment office, don't tell them it is from Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Cause then they will look for the trademarks on the boxes and ignore the fact that your package is indeed on the shelf, exactly where it is supposed to be... just in a bubblewrapped envelope.

This was discovered after I went to talk to my postman. He had the same problem and suggested if I couldn't talk them into letting me work I should go back on Saturday and ask Melvin. "He won't like it, but he'll go back there and look for ya." Then we lamented the loss of Sunshine, "she knew what she was doing, and actually cared."

Systems Analysis

"Hi" it's been awhile.

Haven't been up to too too much. Classes started earlier than I expected, I only have half my textbooks. I also found out that my midterm in my Systems Analysis class will be my last day in Budapest and I can't take it early. Or at least that request wasn't addressed. Annoying since once of the reasons I picked that class over another was because it is project based, and those usually don't have midterms. Plus I'm going to learn a lot... still my life this semester is going to look a lot more like IT than IS.

Speaking of Systems Analysis:

The Presbyterian Church, or rather the Presbytery of the New Covenant is now preparing for disaster. This comes two years after Katrina and almost two years after Rita. You know, when everyone that watched Fox News left town... and those that sat back and thought "28 feet above sea level and 50 miles inland, I think I'll stay home" were left with four days off work and no place to go (see mass evacuation that left the city without gas and the highways packed in all directions).

The Presbytery is collecting the names of two elders in each church to coordinate in case of a disaster. They added the caveat that these people should be able to "text" (which I can only now assume is a verb). Let us now see how this plan is a little bit silly:

1) Presbyterian elders are typically well over the age of 40. On my little Session I'm the youngest, the next youngest is 45, maybe even 50. They can't hear in Session, see this post, (Note: this month "Bill's" hearing aid was still ringing) much less hear their phones ring. Or heaven forbid "text." So... I'm guessing the pool of available ambassadors is fairly small.

2) This is the Presbyterian Church. It took us two years to find a minister, which was largely because of them (ok, and interventions of the Holy Spirit) but in a business sense it was totally their inefficiency. I think we would be more likely to be rescued from our rooftops by the federal government than by the P.C.U.S.A.

3) Most of the disaster relief funds in the Presbytery in last few years were embezzled (or misdirected anyway). If they did get all the sign offs to help (before or after) there isn't any money for it anyway.

Solution: In the event of an emergency become a Baptist, at least they know how to swim.

AAA

Ok, it is an e-mail forward...

To: Mr. Clayton Yeutter
Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.

Dear Sir,

My friends, Wayne and Janelle, over at Wichita Falls, Texas received a
check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.
So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best type of
farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to
raise?

I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all
government policies. I would prefer not to raise Razor hogs, but if
that is not a good breed not to raise, then I can just as easily not raise
Yorkshires or Durocs.

My friend Wayne is very excited about the future of this business. He has
been raising hogs for 20 years and the most he ever made was $420 in 1978,
until this year, when he got your check for $1,000 for not raising hogs.

If I can get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for
not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first,
holding myself down to not raising about 4,000 hogs, which will give me
$80,000 income the first year. Then I can buy an airplane to better keep
track of the hogs I'm not raising.

As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an
accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.

Now another thing: these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000
bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not
raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising
wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?

I want to get started not feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be
a good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain and I don't want to
miss the best of the season.

I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me
any information on that also.

In view of these circumstances, I understand that the government will
consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for unemployment and
food stamps as well.

Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections.

Patriotically yours,

Otis Deal

PS: Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free
cheese.

Missing it a bit

My friends the teachers are back at work today, or rather they have been for week now. Actually they might have the day off. I don't know. I've tried to keep up with the gossip.

They've been in the dreaded SLC meetings for two days straight... the thought of which hasn't made me miss teaching. I think I am going to miss it though, once school starts. So I thought I'd get a fix. Sorry for the subtitles... maybe you can learn Spanish while you're at it.

Erin

For those of you who are not in Houston I would like to provide you with the following image.



This is what you call "the dirty side of the storm." All reports on a radio would indicate that the storm was hitting Corpus and South Padre. While technically true it would leave out for the fact that this is my errand day.

Today I... went to the bank (actually three banks, after making phone calls to indicate they would indeed have a notary available... apparently there is a conspiracy to not give bank notaries their stamps in a timely manner and all the other managers are new), I went to the post office where I mailed said notarized package and where they did not have the stamps I wanted (this will be delayed). I also went to pick up a package and sign my lease because the rain had let up. By the time I actually got to sign the lease, however, the rain was coming down in torrents and the puddles in the parking lot were turning from lakes to seas.

At two I have to be at the museum, site of all the flooding in 2001. Joy of joys. Oh, and then to the Dikeman's and to the Gordon's. I've been stranded at all of those before.

I'm pretty sick of the rain, pretty sick of the lakes turning into seas and the rivers turning to straits. But it didn't rain when we were camping. So I don't feel totally smited.

What I did today at work...

In a conversation about noses...

Online learning

I looked up my grades today. Seems in one class (previously known as the bull shit class) they posted my final without actually giving me credit for writing my final or turning it in. At all. Awesome.

Censorship?

I read the comics online... yesterday this came from the Houston Chronicle:



But is a repeat, from maybe two weeks ago. This is what went out in Google Reader (by the way Google thinks "Google" is mistyped). Anyway, this is what came out in Google Reader:



Why would you censor that?

Endless summer...

I have three (hopefully two) days left on my classes. I took three this summer (actually 12, but that's another story) all in the name of an easier fall. I think my lowest grade is going to come from what I'm calling the "bull shit class" which I knew would be "easy" but well, didn't think would be total bull shit. Seems they care if a colon comes after my name or not... or at least I think thats what they care about cause I never get back any feedback than a number. Bleh. So thats almost over... Whatever. Blogs are meant to bring delight so I'll spare you from the bitching.

Folks at church keep asking when school starts. I'm not really sure what they are asking, since memories (if they had them) are short. Their questions rarely match what is actually going on in my life. This school starting thing is a complicated subject. Texas, in its infinite wisdom, voted to push back the start of school till the last week of summer. Something about saving money on the air conditioning. Actually I'm pretty sure they had this vote when I was in high school. So the vote was actually not to have as many waivers for school districts wanting that early start.

Doesn't matter, they will have turned on everything in HISD two weeks before... thats when the teachers have to report to not miss a paycheck. Other teachers are going back the week after (and not missing a paycheck, funny how that works). I'm going back labor day weekend... but that isn't the question they are asking.

I would also like to introduce you to the concept of niche marketing.

In other news I got the wedding invitation for Granddad's wedding. Kate spells Catherine the way I spell Katharine. The wright way. Yuck yuck yuck.

Oh... if I asked you what did James Wright invent as a substitute for rubber during World War II would you know it?

Or what state do you have to visit to see the Grand Canyon?

Or what actor married his long time girlfriend Anne Stringfield on July 22nd?

What was Wendy in Peter Pan's last name?

Shakespeare: What was Juliet's family name?

What is the GDP per capita of Mexico?

Who was the first European to lead an over land expedition to the Pacific?

Music/FEMA: which city is too close to New Orleans?

What year did Henry of Navarre become Henry IV of France?

Who was drafted by the Trail Blazers in 1974, played for the Clippers and finished with the Celtics?

Who had his mural removed in New York over a controversy that it had a portrait of Lenin?

And finally... If Indiana is the 19th state, and California is the 31st. Name seven states that fell in between.

Budapest is for lovers?

So I was reading today about Budapest... long walks along the river, the best places to see the sunset. Oooolala good thing Bethany's going.

Ohh... and there's a bar called "Paris, Texas" cheers to hoping I can go line dancing in Hungary.

Simpsonize Me

I'm really just posting in response to Bethany these days. I'm a bit of a follower... cause I've found that as a leader... I don't often have sheep. I'd tried the Simpsonizing business when it first came out, when the servers were too small to facilitate the demand for Simpsonizing. Then I forgot about it. Here though, is the newest picture.





I kinda wish they could have me posing next to Milhouse. Cause that would be awesome.

COBRA

If you ever apply for insurance with Cobra I suggest you apply and then leave the house for a couple of days. Cause they'll keep on calling you... a lot. What is your deductable? What is your co-pay? What kind of rate would you get on drugs? What is the maximum out of pocket expense? You already know that company is in network with your doctor? Oh, we can't give you a better deal than that... I'll e-mail you an application...

So if you want to talk to me don't call the house line... or you can, but leave a message. I'm screening my calls.

The Big Review

Ok, this is a little late, but here's the review of The Simpsons' Big Movie.

First I'll say if you aren't already a Simpsons fan, if you don't already like a sarcastic, dry humor you can stop reading now. I don't think that will actually eliminate any of my fair readers, since well... thats the company I keep. Kind of.

I went to Bible study (actually not Bible study these days but Lewis study) before the show. I wore my "Someone in Springfield Loves Me" shirt (it's Milhouse) and much to my chagrin my friends asked me where Springfield is. I don't know... from the state line you can see Ohio, Arizona, Maine, and Kentucky... it's within hours drive of Knoxville and South Florida...

Anyway... to answer my friends' t-shirt question... "it's the movie." "What movie? That movie you are living for is coming out in November." "Oh you mean Hairspray?" Some of my friends are uh... different these days. That's why they weren't invited.

I promised a review though. I'll say, if you are still reading... go see it. Remember in college when you used to gather around the twelve inch television and watch it on the futon? Remember how it it was just better back then? That's what you are paying for. To watch it with other people who love the Simpsons, but on a much larger screen, with much better colors... the reception is good, no static and only one commercial. It isn't the same watching it by yourself.

The script feels like it was written back then as well, which should get rid of any worry that it is just "weird."

It does play out like an extended episode, and unfortunately most of the focus is on the nuclear family. There is a reset... and all is well (I think, this could be debated). Oh, and FOX and the FCC didn't get to it. Not to say that it is "raw and uncut" by any means. This isn't South Park...

Awesomeness...

It is a word if you say its a word. It is indeed official, and given that I'm lazy I'll just refer you here. I'll have to spend an hour in Paris to get there, and a couple of hours to get back... but it is all good.

I didn't get to see the Gummy Bears with my dad this weekend, but I do get to see the Simpsons' movie in 26 hours. Spider pig...

Spider Pig (Simpsons Movie)

Update

Hello all you crazy cats out there.
I'm sure you missed me. Unless of course you actually see me. I've been busy. Seems taking three classes during summer school and working on an internship was exactly what I thought it would be and no less. But alas, I can do just about anything for a couple of weeks, and in a couple of weeks at least some of that will be over. I'll have one fewer class to take in the fall too, which will be nice.

We won't mention the other things I've been up to, save to say it hasn't been all work and no play. That would make a dull boy.

Some things have come up though, so I'll invite your thoughts on the matters.

1) In an Ode Magazine article "The Case of the Alphabet" (June 2007) they cited research (kind of bothers me when they mention there is research but don't actually say what the research is... guess that's why I'd buy the book they are hocking) anyway... they cited research that said that readers, specifically whole cultures that read, are more violent than those that do not. There were historical references, the highlights being: Religions of The Book, vs. oral traditions, Sparta v. Athens, Middle Ages v. Reformation (the turning point of course the printing press), and the coincidence of the advent of television and the civil rights movement. Mixed up in the argument is not only the prevalence of war and peace but also the presence of equality of the sexes in minimally literate societies. The scientific argument is that the brain is much more passive watching television than reading a book: alpha and theta vs. beta brain waves. I've heard these arguments before, tying historical periods and literacy to war and peace (but also sensual cultures to be prone to takeover), but the division where male=war and female=peace seems to be a bit of a jump. Brings up new questions about all those fights caused by video games huh? And what about graphic novels?

2) I'm not really "up" on the gaming world. Some of my friends are, so I asked them about the virtual world Second Life. They thought it was kind of weird too. I'll link to it here, but not as an endorsement. Someone will have to explain what it is beyond a tremendous waste of time AND money. If the numbers are true, in a 24 hour period $1.7 million was traded on the site...so people could buy and sell virtual land and virtual products. My take on it is that the ones profiting are the ones that built the site, and therefore own the land, which can be expanded at a total profit to them. This isn't Manhattan, this is Houston... where when land prices go up we just start commuting... or in virtual world don't go to work. Yet there seems to be a contingent of librarians out there that think this is a great tool for advancing libraries. Which I don't get either. So we'll chalk this one up to a what-the-hell-are-people-thinking-???? category and move on.

3) Insha'Allah. If God wills. It seems a noble thing "thy will be done." At the end of the day that might be the only prayer worth praying. Except if you can change God's mind. For better or for worse... it's been done before. Insha'Allah. It takes a lot of faith perhaps, but it could also be an excuse for procrastination.

Does art imitate life or does life imitate art?

There is a new character greeting me when I walk into the museum these days. As I walk past the two um... fat silver track stars that are just asking for weggies I meet Mr. Pointy. Who I will link to here... but the link won't work so go there and then go to images and then he's on the second row third one over... it will be obvious.

I kind of wish I'd won him at a Crawfish Festival or something, or that I could snatch him up in the mechanical arm at Pizza Hut. Not that I have to bring him home, but those guards are around all the time. I can't touch him without consequences. Cause he's just... provocative.

We finally have it...

Sometime last spring I mentioned Bethany and I were going to Europe. Three checked out library guides, a few interviews, and a spreadsheet of airfares later we've figured it out: Budapest in October. Probably a little Prague too, since there's the astronomical clock and the torture museum.

If you were wondering it is also cheaper than other places to go to Madrid and to Dublin this fall... and there is a spreadsheet to prove it.

Disappointing

I got my bacteria in the mail yesterday. I was kind of hoping the outside of the box would be stamped all over with the words "Live Bacteria." It was disappointedly absent of such markings.

Yesterday I spent almost the whole afternoon working on a paper, er... a bibliography of recommended titles. None of them were to be over five years old. I think my course notes were written over five years ago so all of the tools I was supposed to use were from 2001 (or before). Which means I couldn't use the tools they told me to use unless I could find a later edition. When there was a later edition it wasn't available through the libraries I can go to. Which means I couldn't use the materials that I was supposed to. Except for the ones I could get free trials for, which have a three business day waiting period while they find out if I'm leggit or not. Which means I learned a whole lot about ways you can be set up for failure before you even begin.

Honey Bees

Somehow I missed this in the news over the last few months. I'm told it will be a question in trivia next week so that means it is important.

Hitting Close to Home

The other day I saw an eight year old with a Bluetooth. I'm assuming he was eight... plus or minus a few years due to the fact that I just don't hang around that many eight years. But that's not the point.

He's eight... he had one of those contraptions that keeps you permanently wired and always distracted. He's one of those people in the airport that you think are talking to you... until you realize they aren't.

Huhhhhhhhhhhsssshhhhh...

I'm a little over half of the way through my internship at the MFA. I finished the last of my projects today. Done and done.

In case you were wondering how cool it is to be a librarian I thought I'd direct you to these recent postings and articles:

A Hipper Crowd of Sushers

Spectacles

and the reason for all the attention: Hollywood Librarian

I'm not getting evicted!

In the ever continuing mount of complaints against my landlord...

Friday I got a phone call. From Sam, mind you, that we hadn't paid rent. This wouldn't be the first phone call, and given that we're probably not moving any time soon it probably won't be the last.

One: Sam isn't on the lease, he's an "occupant."
Two: The other phone call went to my mom, who most certainly isn't on the lease either.
Three: I've changed my phone number with them at least half a dozen times in the last four years. They've never written it down or put it in the computer...

Anyway, rumor had it I hadn't paid rent. I most certainly had. Two days early because the 1st fell on a Sunday. The check had CLEARED.

I went to the office. They close at 6PM. Except for on Fridays when it rains when they close at 5PM... since they all live an hour away and it was flooding (they are all supposed to live on site). I know this now cause the guy that works there told me as he went out to walk his dog.

So I called Saturday. No one there to actually help me (only the guy that can find keys and MAYBE find my package... the one that was walking his dog). He told me to call back Monday. So I did.

So they found my check, she'd "cashed it with like five or six others but like oh my gawd some reason didn't post them." Beh.

I miss Sunshine and the sunshine.

Receptions

Apparently more people got married today than any other day that's been recorded... 7-7-7.

In our world it was the third and fourth shindigs of the Waitman-Dikeman aka Dike-man wedding. Which begs the question: was this the first keg party to be thrown at Dr. and Mrs. Dikeman's house?

It was, at least to their knowledge.

Sicko

I hadn't been eagerly anticipating the newest Michael Moore movie. I didn't actually know it existed until one of my dear friends, Rufus (not her real name, but she knows who she is), proposed that we go. You know, cause everyone else in the little Bible study was out of town.

Rufus's husband calls me Kate McArtle. It is, his thing. Rufus thought my name was McArtle until she was watching reruns on cable and said "hey, she's got the same name as Kate!" It is totally understandable.

Anyway. We went to see Sicko. I won't waste my time dissecting the problems of Moore's "random sampling" or trying to identify who the actual villain was or try to explain why Hillary Clinton would promoted as the lone ranger in a fight for universal health care in America. Nor will I postulate what Moore would say if his hero did become president and tabled the issue in favor of spending political capital on more easily won fights.

What I will bring up is this notion that "until me becomes we" the problem won't be solved. Then again, isn't that the fundamental problem of all public policy? Er wait... the cause of misery, strife, and warfare everywhere?

Cheeeeesssy

I tried to make mozzarella today. First draft... not so great. Me and my brain said citric acid was well... citric acid and I put 1.5 tsp of lime juice in there. Turns out citric acid is sold in the vitamin aisle at *some* pharmacies (er not any actually) and at in the bulk section of a restaurant I used to eat at with Emily(1)

(1) I don't think anyone that reads this blog, save Sam... er... and maybe Greg if he's reading... knows Emily. Anyway update... she's in California being Berkley. Something about feminist literature, Italian, and a PhD. I've never known what's been going on since '99.

Anyway, the second batch worked and I have some lovely mozzerella balls in the *clean*(2) fridge.

(2) Sam and I cleaned out the fridge. Mostly Sam, but you know. I even relabeled the glass yogurt containter in the back with its true contents "cooking grease." I think we'd scared people with the previous label. I can't find my labels so I used name badges I used in history roll plays. So now there is a yellowish orange substance in the back labeled "Hello my name is cooking grease." Stop by to say "hi."

So they said to reserve the whey. I did. I don't have hogs to feed it to... so oh say can you say, what do you do with whey?

In other news, if anyone wants any ricotta let me know. Otherwise I'll throw a Roman/Mafia(3) party. Anyone know how to fry a lasagna?

(3) I'm aware of the historical inaccuracies of attributing pasta to the Roman Empire. But how else do I get lasagna AND togas?

Harry V

I went to one of those Midnight Magic parties a few years ago. I watched the affair, fascinated with the face painting and magic tricks my friends working at Barnes and Noble were putting on. Once everyone got in line for the book sale I left. Heather and I went to Wal-Mart to run an errand on our way home. There was a entire pallet of untouched books. They were 20% off the cover price you'd pay if you stood in line. I bought one. Heather bought one.

Four years after starting it I finally finished Harry Potter V. I started and stopped so many times I can't count. Other things to read, other things to do... and it is just so slow. After losing my bookmark, I think I read the middle hundred pages twice on accident.

Someone told me it was the best book they ever read; that I just had to wait till the end... er... um...

From the mixed up files of...

I've been there for six days. I'm getting the dynamics down.

One lady finds dirty books and walks around asking who bought it. They blamed it on the guy that was out of town. She also calls every week to complain about the elevator.

One guy takes the dirty pictures (oil refinery workers and interesting pictures from 1970s Vegas) around and shows everyone.

One girl checks in the gifts. Today it was a book of photographs of Japanese sex hotels in a pink wooden box with a pillow.

I don't think five of them can actually speak. Everyone's car keeps breaking down (or the TV or the fridge). They start work at 9AM and end at 5PM. Exactly.

I'm learning to read French auction catalogs. Wonder when that skill will come in handy next?

Biggio

Congrats to him! Well played game (all things considered).
And good for you if you kept watching to see Lee's walk-off grand slam in the 11th.

Luke and Caleb

Tonight I had the unique (now anyway) pleasure of hangin' out with two of my favorite boys of all time Caleb and Luke. Gosh they are cute.

I learned a bunch of monster jokes:

What king of dog does the vampire have?
A Blood Hound

Why does Frankenstein have a nice lawn?
He has a green thumb

A bunch of space jokes:

What planet goes up in the summer and down in the winter?
Mercury

What is in the middle of Jupiter?
I

What do comets and Wishbone (the terrier) have in common?
They are both stars with tails

and a bunch of mad scientist jokes, none of which are worth repeating.

Then I realized... Luke is five. Luke is reading these jokes to me. Gosh that kid is smart.

Dear readers, I thought you too would appreciate Luke's jokes.

Who said the library wasn't dangerous?

Today I was almost crushed by the moving shelves in the basement. Ok, not almost... but the did get turned on to crush me if I hadn't stopped it with my foot.

Rigging Elections

Is anyone else under the impression that the international news media might have rigged the French elections so that they could say "Sarkozy" for the next five years?

Or maybe thats why they report on the French at all.

Fortune Cookies II?

My fortune tonight was "You will have a five star day tomorrow." I've also recently gotten "the love of your life is in front of you" and "promote literacy, buy fortune cookies."

So things are looking up, I'm going to marry the cook at Pei Wei. We'll take our trivia night winnings and open up a fortune cookie bakery.

In other news we had our first Magnet/New York Trip reunion tonight. In the continuing saga Alex locked his keys in the car with the car radio on. Jeffrey had locked his keys in the car that morning. To console them I told them, "everyone does it once." Then I looked at Herber, "unless your name is Herber, then you do it once a week." They made him forfeit his keys to us in New York, cause otherwise he'd lose them.

Ok... not funny unless you were there. I tried. Sorry.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when I tell you about my research on little wooden boats.

The Economics of Time

Today was a busy day for me, much of it revolved around one character whom I will refer to as "Bill." I'll remind you first that I think Bill has a great heart and all that, but that he can drive me completely crazy. We aren't always disagreeing, just most of the time.

I attended two meetings today. Bill was in both. Each lasted approximately 150% longer than necessary, in part because Bill has been gone for six weeks and needed to be caught up on everything.

Here's my problem: Bill's hearing aid isn't working. If you sit next to him you can hear the little battery squeal. I asked him about it once when I noticed it before. Bill explained "I'm a Republican, Kate, I'm trying to save the taxpayers a little money and make my battery last." At least he isn't a hypocrite.

But here is the thing. Your tax dollars and mine are not being spent so Bill's hearing aid doesn't really work. So Bill asks questions, lots of questions. If we billed Bill for our time at our standard labor rates rate per hour... there are a couple lawyers in the group, an accountant, a CEO... it would cost a lot more than the pennies it would cost to replace his battery two weeks earlier. I could even argue he is stifling the economy and driving us all to the nuthouse. Bill won't hear me though.

Dear Bethany

Tag, you're it.
I'm not really calling for any reason, but this is getting ridiculous.

I'm going to miss the Duck Mayor

Where is CPS?

You would think after all the hippie children became CEOs named Rainbow, Sunshine, Echo, Sky, or Marley (ok I can't actually think of any examples, which will only add to another hypothesis) we would learn.

Still I really hope this doesn't catch on. TTFN.

The Best... uh...Person...

I'm back from Oakland. I'm safe (even though Brenda dreamed I'd been quartered) the only major changes: I've got more freckled surface area on my outer arms than white. I still have my arms and legs.

I promised Neal stories. I promised California stories... and so here we go, the first (and probably the best, honestly) Neal story from California.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned that Sam and I were in the wedding. The invitation went something like this:

"What do you mean you'd go to your cousin's wedding over mine? You are in my wedding!" "Um, what? (this could actually mean any number of things)." "You are in my wedding, Katie, and I get you. Um, huh?" "You're on my side." "Um, I'd be honored Neal." "Sam too."

I gave Neal some time to ask Sam... he didn't. So I wound up telling him awhile later. "Neal wants you in his wedding." "Was he going to ask me?" "Eh."

Others:

'Bec & Mark (sister and her husband)
Jane and Woody (business partner and her husband)

That was sometime last February. In the meantime Sam was measured for a tux and on a conference call with the other groom's maids we decided we'd all buy black dresses. Other details were fairly well unknown.

We got to the rehearsal and were asked, by a very flustered wedding coordinator... who's the Best Man.. er the Best Person. Neal already had his answer "we're drawing straws in the morning." "How are they going to know what to do?" "They'll pay attention." Sure Neal.

So we practiced for an hour and a half for a twenty minute ceremony. Fifteen of which was to stand still. Then we went to dinner. The groom's gifts were expected: A business card holder and a book... with a titles like Flushed: How the Plumber Saved Civilization and The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution of the Human Animal. It was nice.

In the morning we putzed around. We set up tables and went to lunch. We were late getting back and all got dressed really fast. We went to the church for pictures at 3PM. Neal called to say we were thirty minutes late, that we needed to be there at 2:30. We got there. The photographer wasn't there. We drank the Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's out of glasses borrowed from the hotel. We eventually took pictures in random orders.

At 4:30 we drew straws, but Neal wouldn't tell us if the long straw or the short straw was the Best Man or the secondary Dirt Bearer (another story).

At 4:45 he told us... long straw. Mine was pretty long, as I came back from retrieving it I was told to compare it to Mark's, the longest of the others. There we were, Neal hadn't really bothered to make them very different. There was perhaps a millimeter's difference between the grasses... so he was the Best... uh... Person.

Neal and Karen were toasted by just about all of us. As for mixed weddings I'm for them, even if Texas people kept calling it "a California thing."

Summer of Love

The Ham Sandwich has broken his leg. The pitchers are in a tiff. We can't win more than two games in a row and Phil isn't answering my calls. Come on guys...

June Update

Thus far June has looked a little like this:

Wake up.
Make coffee (I'm cutting back).
Read a little.
Make a few phone calls, return e-mails.
Take a nap.
Run errands/ do homework/ do interview/ do project.
Take another nap.
Read / watch TV / a movie
Take a nap.
Hang out a bit in the evening (trivia, Bible Study, etc.)
Read / watch movie/ homework.
Sleep.
Repeat.

I'm told I was probably running on pure adrenaline in the last few months... so we'll call this taking dare of myself. If this is still what life looks like in a couple weeks someone get me out of it. Thanks.

Neal is so helpful...

Neal sent me this e-mail:

This was the sponsored ad that showed up on your myspace page.

Sponsored Links

Gay Presbyterian

Read What the Bible Says, and Doesn't Say, about Homosexuality.

www.soulforce.org

New York...

Speedy Gonzales

This summer Sam is turtle sitting. Here is a picture.



We'll try to keep you updated.

Its over!

Vacation Bible School is over. Over over over over. I didn't get there until 8ish any day (compare to 7ish the rest of this year). I didn't do anything but move crafts around and do crafts with a bunch of little kids. It was over by noon every day (compare to 4ish the rest of this year).

But every day, almost without fail I came home to take a nap. I think around August I'll probably catch up on all my sleep... in the meantime I'm going to see SpamALot today. No one has told me it isn't good, but the descriptions have been, well... varied.

Why I'm a Presbyterian

I've probably had this exact same post before.

Why I'm a Presbyterian: The directors of VBS are already planning on Tuesday to hit the bars after the dinner on Friday. That by the way is worse than teachers, who usually don't start planning that until Wednesday morning.

Back from the Big Apple

Home again, home again. After being trapped in New Jersey for several hours I'm glad to be back. It was a fun trip though (have I said how much I love those kids?!?!?!?!?) I think I slept 15 hours in the last four days. Thats what you get when you stay up like a 17 year old and wake up like an adult. Not that I'm either of those things.

I'll post pictures soon, and share a few stories... but not until my hard drive stops being corrupted. Say a little prayer. Thanks.

Greetings from the Apple Cube

I love my brother. He is awesome. He's a lot of fun and keeps me out of a lot of trouble. He is taking good care of Speedy and the fish, though I don't know the name of the fish.

Hey there roommie

It was pointed out at a funeral this weekend that there is a foil in my blog... my littlest brother Sam. Love you Sam!

I just wanted to let you know I won't be home the next few nights, I'd like you to pick me up from the airport at 9:00PM on Friday. Thanks man!

I'm a Maniac

For the second time in my life I will be a Maniac.

Yet again the illustrious and irreplaceable Dr. A ordered me a Master's robe from the University of Maine. So I'm gonna drop out of school, I mean I already have the degree and everything.

At least the blue is pretty.

Its The End of the World As We Know It

The problem with idioms

Will I ever learn?

My seniors did a budget project where one of their goals was to create a "rainy day fund." They had to figure out how to save 2 months of their income in the next year for an emergency fund (also stated on the instructions).

Apparently they aren't all familiar with the term:

"If I have to evacuate for a natural disaster, I'll have money to support myself."

"I really don't need to buy anything for watery or rainy days."

"For certain period of the year I would save money for the natural diaster in case there are any parts of it I need to face. I will need some items that will from the nature and I would have to figure out how many I will need and that type items I need as cushions. I would have to know how much that's going to cost me in total. Im reallu not aware of this situation right now so I would most likely to save $5 a day to buy the right products I need for the wet atmosphere."

Momma said there'd be days like this...

When I was in high school I used to complain that I was busy and therefore tired.
When I was in college I used to complain that I was busy and therefore tired.
When I first started teaching I used to complain that I was too busy and therefore tired.

That wasn't that bad...

Oh, by the way Sam - I'm going to New York next week. I am, I am, I am.

I'll send you a post card.

Gas Prices and Batting Averages

It is baseball season and while most of you are thinking of "line drives" I have some other thoughts on the "driving season."

According to the American Automoblie Association the national gas price is $3.21/gallon. In Houston it is still lower, given that we well uh... own the... uh... well the gas doesn't have as far to travel. Yeah that's it.

Still, the national average is 321, which puts it equal to Kiki Cuyler's carrer batting average. By July we should hit Ty Cobb's.

Here's to insignificant data.

Shrek The Third

This one was about what I expected. Funny, but still more of the same.

I was disappointed by the greater use of non-fairy tale allusions. Did you know Wizard of Oz was a fairy tale? What about Lord of the Rings?

You should see it, though maybe not just yet.

You just can't surprise me...

Two teachers from my neck of the woods are leaving: Rhodes and I.

A certain boy, known by many as "the cookie man" came by my room today for me to sign a going away/good luck card for Rhodes. Then he asked if I wanted to contribute to a gift. Then he told me that whatever I gave I'd get half back.

Then he explained the math. Give me $5, Miss, and you'll get $2.50 back.

Attention numismatists!

Save your Texas Quarters!

Hang on to any of the new Texas Quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.

The US Mint announced that it is recalling all of the Texas quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or any other coin operated devices.

The problem lies in the unique design of the Texas quarter, which was designed by a team of Austin specialists.
Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming up the machines.

{Ok that was an e-mail forward... sorry}

Ye ol' hockey injuries

I played 12 gamed of hockey yesterday.

Today my arm kinda hurts and my thumb has a bruise.

I was .667.

Christian Love and Crazy Ladies

On Wednesday I got home to find that a woman by the name of Rosemary had called and left a message on my machine. She got my number from "Patty at church" and she wanted to come to my Sunday School class and wanted some information.

Strange yes, but it's happened before so I called her back.

She did want to come to my class "the singles class..." It is the singles class cause I'm in it. She said she was a little old for the class, but she really wanted to come to church - since she hadn't been there in awhile.

There was only one problem... she needed a ride, but only for this Sunday. After that she'd have a friend bring her. Ok... not a problem, I can probably get someone to do that (not going to be me by myself for sure).

But oh wait... she lives "kinda far" as in by the airport. A solid hour's drive there and back. Huh. Ok. So I called the church and told them about it. Sound's fishy, yes, but who am I to make that decision... not sure I want her in my Sunday school class though. My mom swore she's talked to her before...

And why did they give out my phone number?

So all is fine in my world. Until she called again on Friday. I didn't get home 'til later so I didn't call her back. Then she called again. At 9AM on Saturday. Okay, this lady is nuts.

Someone though still volunteered to bring her, with the idea that she clearly needed help (actually I think it is all just a scam at this point, but you know...).

She didn't make it to church though. Apparently if you look up her name on the Internet (I never got the right spelling) there are a couple places that say she's done this before.
Apparently then she asks for money from everyone and gives a speech during the prayer requests. That would have been awesome.

So something "came up" and we can't pick her up, but we are looking forward to seeing her next week when she has her own ride... which she won't have.

Other random fact: I'm pretty sure she's been to our church before.

No really...

Telling me you invited your whole family to graduation will not mean I will pass you. It is your fault for not looking at the progress report in the last 15 weeks.

This was a poor gamble and that will be the other thing you learn.

How to II

The title of this blog is how to throw an international party (aka Model UN) in under 45 minutes

Food:
1) Go to Fiesta.
2) Go to the Asian candy section. Buy anything you saw Laurie or Raya eat in 2002.
3) Go to the Asian drink section. Buy anything that you have heard of at the bubble tea place.
4) Go to the Hispanic snacks section. Buy anything that you can translate into something that doesn't sound like "lucas."
5) Go to the Goya and Junta juice section. Buy anything that doesn't have a dented can.
6) Go to the German candy section. Avoid chocolate cause it will melt in the car (see 9).
7) Go to the European cookie section. Drool.
8) Buy anything at the bakery in Spanish. (for future reference "Quesadillas con arroz Cheesecake" are not little mini cheese cake) Stick to cinnamon sugar things and flakey lookin' things.
9) Buy plain Lays and 7up for anyone that isn't adventurous.
10) Put it in the back of your car.
11) Stow the drinks in the cooler the next morning.
12) Park at the back gate and offer bonus to anyone to help you carry it.

Games:
I need a little help here. My selection was Mad Gab... an interesting game for English language speakers with a thick accent and minimal literacy in American culture. I won hands down. Which means, guys, the girls won this battle of the sexes.

I did this once before, only it was for a tapas night. This will explain the various selections of olives and dips that are still in our fridge.

If you are interested all of this is still in the back of my car. Anyone want to tailgate?

On Maymesters

Crunching a semesters worth of work into ten weeks is not fun. Crushing a semesters worth of work into three weeks is less fun.

So if you don't hear from me... it doesn't mean I'm dead.

Give me your tired masses...

Here is an article for you to read.

So what you are really saying, Sooners, is that you don't want illegal immigrants. Big surprise.

Now let's review your demographics. From the 2000 Census we have...
76.2% White; 7.9% American Indian; 1.4% Asian; 5.2% Spanish Speaking

Which is actually more diverse than most of your neighbors.

Fairy Princesses

I think I like the prom where I teach more than the prom I went to in '99.

I like it more than my own because I know more people there that I like. The food is better and it is free for me. On a less superficial level, I also like it because of the kids that are there. I suppose in a lot of ways it is a chance for them to be someone outside of themselves even if just for one night. I flipped through my pictures (I'm not posting them here for obvious reasons). On the surface they are just a bunch of good looking (though sometimes awkward) kids. Their stories are not so good looking. They have made it this far though, a few weeks from graduating (or maybe it will be August) and that by itself is a miracle.

There's kids who are permanently physically effected by their parent's drug habits; homeless children whose parents have left to go back to their own country, there's mothers and future mothers as well as fathers. There are children who have survived civil wars and witnessed massacres, children who have been in and out of CPS. Those who didn't evacuate early from hurricanes and found shelter in the Superdome. Children that work till 2AM and come to school at 8:30. Those are just the ones that let me take their pictures. There are some that are the first in their families to go to college and some we are thrilled will graduate from high school.

I shouldn't call them children, they are hardly naive or dependent.

These are what has made my teaching career a learning experience. I hope that I'm not walking away from them, but finding a different way to be a part of their lives and continue to learn from them. I wish that I knew what that will look like.

Pastis is still my hero

Benchmarks

The newest of the Iraq funding bills features a measurement tool known as "benchmarks." This is a tool to measure the progress of our troops as they turn over security responsibilities to the Iraqi police.

The thing that bothers me the most is that this idea of "benchmarks"* is also how we measure student progress mastering objectives before the TAKS tests. If we are running our wars like Texas runs its education systems we might be doomed from the start.

Do we get to declare our military Title I?
Does that mean the Marines will get free and reduced lunch?
How much suck money will Congress give to maintaining the Green Zone?
At what point will we reconstitute it all?

Support our troops.

*Since AVI linked to this page with a big fat "ouch" I thought I should explain exactly what "benchmarks" might mean in Texas education. There are two ways in which I've heard the term used:

1) I know elementary school teachers that give them to test if their students will do well on a particular objective on the TAKS test. TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) isn't that unlike an MCAS test, and very much the product of NCLB. Actually since Rob Paige (former secretary of Education under the Bush administration) WAS the Superintendent of HISD I think I could argue that the whole thing is his fault... anyway... benchmarks are just that an assessment before the assessment to predict success (and theoretically prescribe interventions).

2) Benchmarks are used in our Algebra I program. I'm not a math teacher but this is the jist: If you pass 70% of the benchmark tests you will earn credit for Algebra I. To pass you need a 70% on the test. You may take the test as many times as you want. So, to demonstrate mastery in Algebra I you need to get 49% of the problems right... eventually. Not all the tests are multiple choice, but I will remind you that a monkey with a pencil will get 25%. So my theory is if you care one iota any student should be able to earn an A in Algebra I... cause eventually the test bank will start repeating. If the cashiers at my McDonald's were only right 49% of the time I'd be upset.

Breakfast

I haven't scratched my butt today, but I would like to share that by 1PM today I will have eaten breakfast four times in 24 hours. Yeah for crepe night and Teacher Appreciation Day!

Why I haven't written much lately...

Variety is the spice of life

Some of you might remember the post about all the stuff in our fridge.

Yesterday I made quesadillas. Tonight I made tacos. Maybe I'll just drink the salsa.

Airport friends

The previously mentioned Neal has a theory on social capital that is worth noting.

You can assess your friendships on "the airport test." Who among your friends would you be willing to, in a pinch, take to the airport at 6AM? Who among your friends would you be willing to ask to take you to the airport at 6AM? At what point would you look up "taxi" in the yellow pages?

He believes you should have no fewer than five. Some of these should actually live in the same city that you do.

Cinco de Mayo

...on seis de Mayo.

For those of you out their questioning this idea of Cinco de Mayo and it's legitimacy as a holiday I would like to add a little fuel to your fire. I'm recognizing that most of my readers are not from Texas, and if they are they are transplants.

I myself am a transplant, but I was firmly enough indoctrinated that all of the tar on my heels has succumbed to the Texas turpentine. Not all of you were so lucky to take two years of Texas history in grade school.

So I will enlighten.

Cinco de Mayo is "the first date that the Mexicans kicked the French out of Mexico" or rather," it is the day that they won a battle against France on Mexican soil." It took place in 1862. It really only delayed the invasion by a few months, in 1863 the French took Mexico City but in 1867 the French had been kicked out for good and the Mexicans were free to rule themselves by their own dictators and politically corrupt parties. It is not Independence Day, that is September 16th.

Mexicans don't really celebrate Cinco de Mayo in Mexico. They do, in Puebla (the site of the battle), but not really anywhere else... oh, except in the United States. It is a symbol for "the
victory of the underdog" and "overcoming great odds..."

About those French. Apparently they at one time had a sizable force worthy of contention. They took over part of East Texas once, (I think over there by Vider, home of the KKK) again for a brief period before some ladies with shotguns ran them back to Louisiana. Sounds kinda like the aftermath of Katrina in a way, doesn't it? Anyway, that was short lived too and it explains the most obscure of the "six flags over Texas." Can you name the other five?

And while we are at it, what was the name of the other Texas massacre of 1836?

Spidy

Spider-Man 3 was exactly as incoherent as it needed to be. Absurdly perfect. It helps to know someone who read the comic books explain how all the logical leaps are made... still you wonder what exactly provoked the butler after A MOVIE AND A HALF...

Anyway... I drove home and parked and who should appear but the one we will now call "the lump" on my couch. Such are the benefits of living in such a prime location. I wonder if we can claim him as a tax deduction, maybe then I'll get my $1200.

Apparently I can't do my taxes either

I'm supposed to get $1200 back from the government this year. They deposited $9.90.
What the heck?

One thing down and...

Model UN is now officially over. The conference came and went with only one minor hitch - the bus was an hour late. Typical of large institutions I think. My group of *very* international kids represented DPRK, Finland, and Guatemala.

I was thinking of having a little party when things settle down a bit (after all the AP tests) and serve Korean food (yum), Guatemalan food (maybe not all the beans and rice), and Finnish food. I don't know much about Finnish food and I don't know any Finnish restaurants around here. Or Finnish grocery stores. Maybe I'll go to Ikea and call it even.

So with that done (Thank you Honorable Chair) I'm off to what's next... cleaning out my classroom closet. That will take all of next week.

Spider-Man 3 tonight. NPR said it was "not coherent" as though it was made simultaneously by two different directors and edited together. I'll post the review tonight, after a dessert of assuredly non vegan cupcakes.

Why class is going to stay on topic the rest of the year...

It is the end of the year. Everyone is tired, including me. The illustrious tests are over and we are awaiting our results. Everyone is on field trips and field days all the time, I doubt I'll actually get to teach again in my career. Ok, that isn't true... but it sure seems like it.

Nevertheless we are going to maintain the firm "my life ain't your business" policy that I am so fond of.

1) One of my girls asked me in class (in the middle of something important, I'm sure) "Miss do you have a boyfriend?" "No" was my reply, "then where did you get that hickey?" It was a bite a mosquito or something but whatever, she wasn't going to believe me... just like I don't believe she is just gaining a little weight.

2) One of my guys asked me to prom twice.

3) Someone else asked me (we'll call him Jeff - I have no students with such Anglo names) if I was bringing anyone, "think so," I answered. "Is it your brother, Miss?" (Sam is a bit of a secondary character in most of my stories). "Don't think so." Later in the period Lilly asked me where to get a cheap prom dress. Having recently toured Houston looking for a groomsmaid dress (sans halter top) I actually had an answer, including "there's one on Harwin... Imports something that has a bunch of dresses, all sorts... including $45 wedding dresses." Jeff heard this, and being the spastic kid that he is concluded "Miss you're getting married?!!?!?!?!" "No Jeff, I'm not" "Misss we get to meet your man. Do I get to be in your wedding?" "Sure Jeff sure" "Weeeeehheeeee Miss, heeeehhhhaaahee." (Note: I've failed miserably at transcribing this).

So Wymans, apparently I'm gonna marry your son and apparently Jeff is in our wedding. He's a 6'7" black boy that smells like stale cheese. Jeff... not your son.

Homonyms

My students are spelling "write" and "right" wrong...
I know it is confusing... I might have messed them up for life.

Addresses

Today I went to pick my friend up at an office.

Unfortunately the address she gave me was a UPS Store.

Ooops.

Mother's Day

Now soliciting ideas for Mother's Day. I don't think Art Car Parade will work this year.

In case your forgot it is May 13th. Get your act together, she's your mom.

I'll be in Oakland in six weeks

I'll be in Oakland in six (long) weeks. This morning the first report on the radio was this. I had hoped to:

Go to the fortune cookie place and get some custom made fortune cookies.
See the Golden Gate Bridge for once when it wasn't cloudy and January.
...and those other things.

My "aunts" want to go on a wine tour. I wanted to see Candlestick, but the Giants are in Boston so I'll have to settle for the As.

But anyway... the bridge melted... and Arnold is in charge.