I like Goat

Reason to keep teaching...

Today I hosted thirteen of Mr. Pyles' babies. Freshman, except for the two that failed my class last year. They sat in the back and did their worksheets on AIDS in Africa while I did my little lecture about "Who's Who In the Cold War."

You might know about my theory on "keeping it unpredictable" if they think you are crazy enough to do it once in awhile it keeps them guessing. I accused three of the freshman of cheating and had all of them ratting each other out (McCarthism, of course).

Anyhow... possibly one of my favorite things to do is to reinact Khrushchev's 1960 UN interuptions. I even wore my slip on shoes for the occasion. TA made the mistake of asking me why I thought Nikita was crazy, to which he wound up with a shoe on his notes. Repeatedly. He crawled out of his chair and I chased him.

I would have done this without the freshmen there, but I'm certainly glad they were there. Sets the tone for next year.

They didn't ask for a translation, so I think I got my point across.

Perpetuating Stereotypes

For some reason today the princiPAL decided to bring donuts. We're all giving a standardized test this week, and the gesture was more than appreciated.

I went to fill up my coffee cup (I'm really not the coffee fiend that I sound like in these blogs, I'm really not) while I was giving the test. Karen was waiting in the hall to tell me she had ALREADY finished the crossword puzzle (at 9AM), she informed me I probably didn't know songs from the 1940s, and I probably wouldn't finish. Isn't that nice.

Anyhow, while I was getting my coffee I ran int thre cops standing in the workroom next to the coffee and the donuts. Huh.

I'm told cops have the donut reputation because Shipley's is the only place open for coffee at 2AM. Well, there and IHOP. But it was 9AM and the cops were still guarding the donuts.

The ONLY problem with the T-shacks

You might already know I LOVE being in the T-shacks. I'm out here all by my lonesome where no one comes to visit me. It is nice, I'm left to do my job and not worry about much else.

There aren't many drawbacks, but there are a few.

One: Traffic noise and car alarms. Last year there was an alarm that went of EVERY DAY. It doesn't go off anymore, so therefore it must have been Vogt's truck.

Two: There is a cat living under my building. It seems to be in distress, but I can't find it. It meeeoooows and meeeeooows.

Fox TV

I'm curious how this is going to go:

Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?

and exactly how well the contestants will do.

The Unfinished Legacy

By a matter of chance I happen to have a subscription to Texas Monthly (yeah Greg, I bet you are JEALOUS). For my friends unfortunate enough not to have inhabited the Lone Star State, Texas Monthly has two to four good articles a month, sandwiched in between irrelevant advertising. It also happens to be one of the few good magazines at the hair shop, which is how I got the subscription to begin with.

This month it happens to feature two articles on the legacy of George W. Bush.

The first article is on the debate over whether or not Southern Methodist University should allow the Bush library and think tank to be built on its campus. Some believe that they should not build a monument, on moral grounds. Such a library would be a monument to "alienation of longtime U.S. allies," "a shameful disrespect for gay persons and their rights," "a preemptive war based on bad intellegence and blind obeisance to ideology."

The author and I though wouldn't see it that way. The Razorbacks did not enshrine sexual transgressions with interns when their library was built. Nor did the University of Texas condone election theft or the deaths of 58,000 men when the LBJ library was built. What begs to be questioned is the access to the historical record, which will be at issue no matter where the library is built.

Since Roosevelt's library was built in Hyde Park, NY presidential papers have been collected and granted to the government at the president's will. I seem to have gone to a lot of these libraries, no doubt they put the president in a favorable light and present their bias. Duh, who is paying for the thing anyway? After Nixon the papers are automatically forfeited to the National Archives, who catalog them and then release them after five years. Kind of, you know, if it isn't restricted. It was 2002 before some of the Nixon tapes were released. Long after Nixon was pardoned (and dead). Historians kinda go crazy over such things, all the sudden they have new evidence in a cold case. Books get published and republished and we understand history a little bit better.

What does this have to do with W?

In 2001 Bush issued an executive order where either the former president or the incumbent president could restrict access to information after the twelve year waiting period. Moreover this power to restrict information can be willed so that a veto might be carried out even after the president's death. Much like the library in Antproof Case, Bush might build a library which would never actually be used.

Question: How can we let history be the judge if we are never actually allowed to see any evidence?

Also in the magazine is an article on what Robert Dallek believes will be the Bush legacy.

(Personal note: Robert Dallek was my American Presidency professor in the Fall of 2001. Class on a certain Tuesday when the rest of the world was watching television was worth going to).

Anyhow, back to the legacy. Bush seems to believe that 30-50 years from now we will look back and thank him for being a visionary. He points to Truman who left office with a 25% approval rating marred by the Korean conflict. Maybe, but Truman had a plan. He and Kennan and Marshall had a plan which other presidents followed. You might have heard of it: containment and the domino theory? In any case the merits of the plan can be questioned, but there's a plan and successor's willing to follow in his stead I think it will be a false start.

The same would be true of George's other legacy, and his dream to be the "Education President." I don't think NCLB will stick, if it is still sticking; that is hard to tell. As Utz said "I've lived through seven administrations and seven educational reforms, and there will be another one, and another one after that. It's our job to teach (or in Utz's case pretend to teach) and give our students the best leg up we can."

The Economist also has an article out on the domestic policies that could give the legacy a boost.

Happy Go Texan Day!

The trailriders camped out in the park last night, today is the day of the big parade. That only means one thing: THE RODEO is here!!!!!

Which brings me to the big question of March: fried Twinkies, fried Snickers, or fried Oreos????? Maybe this year they'll have the fried butter roll back.

Yum.

Duck and Cover

Tonight on MySpace a photograph of me hiding under a student desk is supposed to appear. There is an explanation, and no I'm not scared of the students.

In other news, I thought you might appreciate the history lesson of the day:

The Ditch

So the Erie Canal is 363 miles. Wouldn't have guessed that one.
I said 120, since you know it is 270 miles to San Antonio and New York isn't that big of a state. I also figured they would take the shortest route possible and cut north. But they didn't. So I was left to ask, why didn't they just cut north?



I thought about it. Then I remembered, oh yeah. Niagara Falls, the whole reason to dig the ditch in the first place. Silly, Kate, Trix are for kids.

Fox Trot

It took me too long to get this.

Lent

Ever notice that Girl Scout cookies come in JUST as Lent is starting?

Adventures in Coiffure

This landed on my desk today. Perhaps the best in four years.

Now I'm going to buy a case...

I'm a slow reader. Or at least I'm a slow reader when I'm busy and easily distracted by well, just about anything.

I finally finished Antproof Case. My reluctance to finish it was by no means warranted. I don't want to give up coffee and wage war against a vile beverage. If I do cut back it will have nothing to do with Helprin's sound argument or literary skill. Though I do wonder how long he took on the last two pages of the book, cause that was beautiful writing.

So next up is Harry Potter V followed by VI. I should be finished by June. I'm also going to buy a case of coffee. Nicaraguan? Columbian? Guatemalan? Who knows. Probably Guatemalan, long live Kaiser Sose.

Pearls Quotes

It's a small world after all... ...insert foot in mouth

FACT ONE: My brother works for St. Arnold's Brewing Company and is kinda "chatty" when he drinks.

FACT TWO: I'm not always huge fan of the Teach for America culture of "I'm gonna save the world in two years" and cause career teachers to feel as though they have to keep up with the compassion for the children at a rate that is simply not sustainable over the long term. It isn't personal.

The two factors met on Friday morning in the workroom when one of my TFA friends said "hey, does your brother work at St. Arnold's?"

THE STORY:

Sam was working at the brewery tour and was chatting with a girl named Megan. Megan is from Connecticut and works at a middle school. She's in TFA. He proudly told me that he had met this girl and had once again used my "TFA are union scabs" line to impress her. Repeatedly, just to get under her skin. I've mentioned this once, and it is one of his favorite things to tell people when he is a) drunk and b) talking to a TFA teacher.

This has happened before, with Parker who I was then introduced to at a wedding.

He told me about this encounter, and was particularly proud that he had pulled out this phrase yet again. He also told me, her name is "Megen" not "Maygan." I don't know her, no problem.

Except all TFAs know each other. They all live together. They go to the same bar. In this case Megan lives with Emily, an English teacher here.

I don't know this part of the story, I wasn't there... but I think it went like this.

Megan: I met a guy at St. Arnold's who has a sister who works at Lee, her name is Kate?
Emily: Yeah, I think I know who you are talking about. Kate W-.
Megan: Yeah, that's it. I have his card. I don't think she likes TFA. He called us union scabs. I don't get it, we're in the union.
Emily: Huh.

And so the story continues on Friday morning:
Emily: Hey, do you have a brother that works for St. Arnold's?
Kate: Yeah, he does.
Emily: My roommate met him last Saturday.
Kate: Oh yeah? (Forgetting the conversation that must have been recounted).
Emily: Yeah she said you must not like TFA, cause we're not in the union.
Kate: (thinking doh, and changing the subject) Oh was that Megen, not Maygan?
Emily: Yeah, we don't get it. We are in the union.
Kate: Did he pull out that union scabs line? I said that ONCE and he totally recycles it all the time cause he likes to agitate people.
Emily: Oh, well small world huh?
Kate: Yup (I take my coffee and walk away).

The addiction theme

I've been fighting addictions lately in these posts. I haven't given up coffee, but my intake has been severely limited given that I haven't been going to make copies much lately and therefore don't have the occasion to pick up a warming beverage. I confiscated a tennis ball in 5th period today, that took care of my manual fixations...

That said... for the past three years I've said I might leave teaching at the end of the year. Yeah I know, I've said it all before. Year one I was new and I knew that it would only get better. Which it did. At the end of year two they disbanded my team (aka community) and moved me away from my kids. I taught AP, so I still got to keep some of them... the ones that got my jokes and were pissed off that they were finger painting in English III AP to tell me "Miss, I don't want to have ten kids and work in a cereal factory the rest of my life." The ones I'm going to New York with in the spring...

I was planning on leaving at the end of last year too, but I woke up one morning and decided to stay. That was that. I was irritated and pissed, but I was going to stay.

Truth is, I think I'm addicted. I can't say that I'm addicted to the teaching, that is more of a vessel. I'm addicted to those kids. Not all of them of course, there are some jewels that really could be left behind (I'm not willing to debate the merits of NCLB with anyone on a purely intellectual level, cause I don't come off sounding very empathetic or compassionate). I'm addicted to them though. But some of them just break my heart.

I spent most of the early evening with a beautiful girl from Liberia. I've had her for a year an a half, she still writes like she is in first grade... and for the first time EVER she is passing my class. EVER. She is so sweet, but an eighteen year old with the social behaviors of a shy fourth grader. She's in my Model UN club because she wants to learn about the rest of the world, so when the rest of the kids abandoned us for some English Honor Society thing (thanks Erin) she was there. She told me she wanted me to teach her about Liberian history, something I never looked into except to know the Americans colonized it with ex-slaves and it has the unique trivia property of having one of two world capitals named for an American president.

So we looked up the history in the encyclopedia and I attempted to explain to her her history, which isn't all that different from any other country's history in the 20th Century. She told me all her presidents were evil, that she didn't trust any of them, she didn't trust any of them. War broke out in her country when she was two. She hasn't seen her parents since she was three. She doesn't know where her siblings are, she lived with a grandmother who gave her to a priest before she was four because her grandmother was too slow and couldn't protect her. The priest is now dead, and she lives in a charity home... she has no one in this world to call family. She doesn't like the United States because she doesn't have anyone to tell her secrets to and she said she won't have anyone like that until she finds her family.

Then she told me she was going to teach me how to play Connect Three, which she said is just like Connect Four. She told me it was the game she played in Ghana. She spent five minutes drawing the lines for the game on the paper. Then she cut my chalk to get pieces so we could play. Then she redrew the lines a different way. Then she showed me how to play. She was teaching me how to play tic-tac-toe on a board of Xs and squares. So I taught her how to win (or tie) every game.

So please don't tell me I can teach at a different school. I can't drink tea instead of coffee either.

Barack Obama

I thought this was worth sharing.

...Today I'd like to talk about the connection between religion and politics and perhaps offer some thoughts about how we can sort through some of the often bitter arguments that we've been seeing over the last several years.

I do so because, as you all know, we can affirm the importance of poverty in the Bible; and we can raise up and pass out this Covenant for a New America. We can talk to the press, and we can discuss the religious call to address poverty and environmental stewardship all we want, but it won't have an impact unless we tackle head-on the mutual suspicion that sometimes exists between religious America and secular America...

Continued...

Coffee Conspiracy

The disincentive coercing me into giving up coffee is over; the coffee maker here has been replaced. If that business had gone on much longer I was thinking of charging the school with racketeering. I'm still reading Memoirs from an Antproof Case though, so I still feel like the heavens are still trying to tell me something.

Team Terrible Plate

The dynasty begins...

Team Terrible Plates (formerly known as The Wright Stuff, Kate and the Beer Bellies, Team Luftwaffe, and Why Man?, among other unfortunate names) took first place for the first time ever. EVER. We did it without our movie man, though there was but one movie question. How many films was Adam Sandler in in the 1990s (this includes four small cameo appearances)?

There was also some shameful flirting going on... including Jeremy asking the waitress "?tengo una beso, por favor?" or something like that.

Oh and Ray Bradbury is indeed alive.

Economics Anecdotes - Valentine's Edition

My Economics class is finally finished with all that dull vocabulary that infuses the assumed advantages of the free enterprise system into the curriculum.

So now we are on to just studying the free enterprise system and thus onto supply and demand. Now we'll start off that the book as one chapter on demand, one chapter on supply, and one chapter on supply and demand and how they create an equilibrium price. There is a full four pages on the fact that the demand curve is slanted this way \ and that the law of demand states that the quantity demanded is the inversely related to the price. This little nutshell is nested in four pages of relevant but oh so unnecessary text.

So we did a little lab. Given that it is Valentine's Day tomorrow (the most annoying of holidays for high school teachers see what one student is giving his girlfriend of two weeks) and I teach the entrepreneurs of Lee we did a little self study of what we could sell over the next couple days at Lee High School. The described their chocolates, their teddy bears, and their rose delivery; they established potential prices and then they surveyed each other to see what they could sell for... all very organic, ya know?

My example: A box of twelve chocolate covered cherries.

At $12.00 none would buy it; at $9.00 two would; at $6.00 five would; at $3.00 nine would but if I gave them away for free none of them would take it. Not one. They told me my candy was tainted. They did the same for each of their own products, assuming that if it was being given away for free there must be something wrong with it; that or they didn't want to give their Valentine stuff they got for free.

So the demand curve now looks like a fishhook (>) ; and it isnt' the thought that counts. Oh, and my candy is tainted.

Sweet treats

Kaitlynn

I went to see little Kaitlynn today. She doesn't do much but eat, yawn, and cry but she's cute just doing that. The best part, when she got sick of me holding her I got to hand her back to mom... or grandma, whoever was closest.

Doping for sports

As big a fan of Barry Bonds as I might be (that was sarcasm) I've never thought doping was

a) a good idea
b) healthy
c) fair
d) sportsmanly

Yet I found myself in the same boat last night. Once a quarter my dad organizes a blood drive at the church. He's known as the church vampire, because if you have not been eliminated from the blood pool he knows your name, address, and telephone number... and in my case blood type. Which by the way is the really desirable kind. He also doesn't take no for an answer very easily, particularly from someone he helped feed and clothe for eighteen years (that would be me and my brother).

Now I haven't gotten a tattoo in the past twelve months, so I was the only child left to give blood today. Problem is I always fail the pretest.

I've never failed a test so many times in all my life. Not even the Massachusetts Literacy test for Educators (biased as it may be). I always come in with a low iron count. I've watched my blood fall in the copper sulfate to watch it float back up minutes later. They always run that little machine and come back to tell me my hematocrit is .4 points (or whatever units they are measuring) too low.

I remembered I was giving blood this morning, or at least I was on the schedule. So I doped, I admit it. 300% of my recommended daily allowance of iron at night, another 300% with two eggs this morning. I passed, with flying colors; and my pee hasn't changed color or anything.

Of course they didn't quite hit my vain and they could only take a partial bag of red cells and a few platelets... I'm going to have a bruise.

CNN

It is a most unfortunate fact that CNN's homepage has moved from Anna Nicole's death to Barack's candidacy. I hope they don't forget to keep me updated.

Wayside School is Falling Down

I thought I had written a post the other day entitled "Wayside School is Falling Down" it was about my Thursday plight, that the following things were not working at work:

1) The coffee maker (which still wasn't working on Friday)
2) The microwave (which still wasn't working on Friday)
3) The copiers (which were hit and miss all week thus me assigning my students essays at the end of the week, in another life I would regret this move... but I don't anticipate having to actually grade many essays)
4) The e-mail system (gosh, how will they tell me I have a meeting?)
5) The attendance system (annoying though it may be, it is better than pen and paper most of the time)

I've now set up to write another post and I've noticed that this post wasn't there. I'm hoping I didn't post it as my homework somewhere.

Things to get you through the day...

I was thinking about why I valued Trivia night and NOOMA videos so much. Oh yes, because I can think about them between 8:35 and 9:50 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Since I'm now a student again and paying tuition, it is highly probable that I might actually itemize my deductions this year and actually be able to take more than the standard deduction.
There is a deduction teachers can take of $250 on their income taxes for things like classroom supplies and things that are needed for the classroom. For expenses beyond that we must submit reciepts. I feel that I have work related expenditures that exceed $250 and I'm considering claiming the following things on my taxes, arguing that I do actually need them to do my job.

Happy hour on Friday
Trivia Night drinks
NetFlix subscription
A winter coat
Once a month massage
4 lbs of coffee per month
New soles on three pair of shoes

For those lawyers and accountants out there reading, please advise.

The War on Weather

These days I'm not totally up for writing much that is original. I could satiate you, my dear reader, by assembling a "best of Pearls" post, but I might as well just mail my dear reader all the books. So instead I'll continue to point you to posts I've recently been told about on other people's websites. This one is "Fox takes fair and balanced look at weather war" which just seems like a paradox to begin with.

In other news, Kinky Friedman is still selling t-shirts.

From CNN.com:

In a sloppy, exciting, rainsoaked NFL title game, the Colts defeated the Bears 29-17 to become the new Super Bowl champions. It was the first time the game was played in the rain, the first with opposing black coaches and the first with the opening kickoff returned for a touchdown.

Sometimes I agree with CNN, but honestly I think I'll have to say the word "exciting" is overstating it a bit.

Tinkling for a fix

Brought to us from our fine friends up north:

Meth Users Turning to Urine to Get High

At what point do you turn to your buddy and say "man, I bet I can reuse that!"?

I <3 Garrison Keillor

Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House. That's the farthest anyone who wears a dress has gotten since J. Edgar Hoover.

The real reason you can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of politicians… It creates a hostile work environment.

Saddam Hussein tells his jailer that he wants to write his memoirs, and he needs a stenographer. The jailer returns with a laptop computer. Saddam says, "I cannot write my own memoirs! I AM A DICTATOR!!"

What's the difference between "Congress" and the "Library of Congress"? n the Library of Congress you can't mess with the pages.

President Bush's State of the Union speech got higher ratings than American Idol. Millions of people tuned in thinking they could vote him off.

In his State of the Union address President Bush said the economy is on the move . It's moving to India.

Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus mean -- the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9? Peter said, "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."

Have you heard of the new chainsaw, it runs only on a single double A battery, and two cups of salt to run all of its electrical systems. It is charged with a salt and battery.

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission chips.

Thanks for indulging me. There's more here.

"Mon petit chou"

Upon seeing The Queen, I was left to wonder why Prince Phillip would call his wife "cabbage." It seemed to be related to her hairstyle, but apparently it is a general term of endearment.

I'm not sure how I'd feel about being called "cabbage," given I spent most of my life being called "punkin'" and "sweet pea." What is this affinity for vegetables?

Economics class

Since I know you WANT to be in my economics class I thought I'd give you a taste. We're analyzing commercials to look at how advertising works. To do this, of course we have to watch some samples.

So which are your favorites? Which advertising techniques work on you?????

Great antifascist literature

On the far-away island of Sala-ma-Sond,
Yertle the Turtle was king of the pond.
A nice little pond.  It was clean.  It was neat.
The water was warm.  There was plenty to eat.
The turtles had everything turtles might need.
And they were all happy.  Quite happy indeed.

They were... untill Yertle, the king of them all,
Decided the kingdom he ruled was too small.
"I'm ruler", said Yertle, "of all that I see.
But I don't see enough.  That's the trouble with me.
With this stone for a throne, I look down on my pond
But I cannot look down on the places beyond.
This throne that I sit on is too, too low down.
It ought to be higher!" he said with a frown.
"If I could sit high, how much greater I'd be!
What a king! I'd be ruler of all that I see!"

So Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And Yertle, the Turtle King, gave a command.
He ordered nine turtles to swim to his stone
And, using these turtles, he built a new throne.
He made each turtle stand on another one's back
And he piled them all up in a nine-turtle stack.
And then Yertle climbed up.  He sat down on the pile.
What a wonderful view! He could see 'most a mile!
"All mine!" Yertle cried.  "Oh, the things I now rule!
I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule!
I'm the king of a house! And, what's more, beyond that
I'm the king of a blueberry bush and a cat!
I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!"

And all through the morning, he sat up there high
Saying over and over, "A great king am I!"
Until 'long about noon.  Then he heard a faint sigh.
"What's that?" snapped the king
And he looked down the stack.
And he saw, at the bottom, a turtle named Mack.
Just a part of his throne.  And this plain little turtle
Looked up and he said, "Beg your pardon, King Yertle.
I've pains in my back and my shoulders and knees.
How long must we stand here, Your Majesty, please?"
"SILENCE!" the King of the Turtles barked back.
"I'm king, and you're only a turtle named Mack."
"You stay in your place while I sit here and rule.
I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule!
I'm the king of a house! And a bush! And a cat!
But that isn't all.  I'll do better than that!

My throne shall be higher!" his royal voice thundered,
"So pile up more turtles! I want 'bout two hundred!"
"Turtles! More turtles!" he bellowed and brayed.
And the turtles 'way down in the pond were afraid.
They trembled.  They shook.  But they came.  They obeyed.
From all over the pond, they came swimming by dozens.
Whole families of turtles, with uncles and cousins.
And all of them stepped on the head of poor Mack.
One after another, they climbed up the stack.
Then Yertle the Turtle was perched up so high,
He could see fourty miles from his throne in the sky!
"Hooray!" shouted Yertle.  "I'm the king of the trees!
I'm king of the birds! And I'm king of the bees!
I'm king of the butterflies! King of the air!
Ah, me! What a throne! What a wonderful chair!
I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!"

Then again, from below, in the great heavy stack,
Came a groan from that plain little turtle named Mack.
"Your Majesty, please... I don't like to complain,
But down here below, we are feeling great pain.
I know, up on top you are seeing great sights,
But down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
We turtles can't stand it.  Our shells will all crack!
Besides, we need food.  We are starving!" groaned Mack.

"You hush up your mouth!" howled the mighty King Yertle.
"You've no right to talk to the world's highest turtle.
I rule from the clouds! Over land! Over sea!
There's nothing, no, NOTHING, that's higher than me!"

But, while he was shouting, he saw with suprise
That the moon of the evening was starting to rise
Up over his head in the darkening skies.
"What's THAT?" snorted Yertle.  "Say, what IS that thing
That dares to be higher than Yertle the King?
I shall not allow it! I'll go higher still!
I'll build my throne higher! I can and I will!
I'll call some more turtles.  I'll stack 'em to heaven!
I need 'bout five thousand, six hundred and seven!"

But, as Yertle, the Turtle King, lifted his hand
And started to order and give the command,
That plain little turtle below in the stack,
That plain little turtle whose name was just Mack,
Decided he'd taken enough.  And he had.
And that plain little lad got a bit mad.
And that plain little Mack did a plain little thing.
He burped!
And his burp shook the throne of the king!

And Yertle the Turtle, the king of the trees,
The king of the air and the birds and the bees,
The king of a house and a cow and a mule...
Well, that was the end of the Turtle King's rule!
For Yertle, the King of all Sala-ma-Sond,
Fell off his high throne and fell Plunk! in the pond!

And to say the great Yertle, that Marvelous he,
Is King of the Mud.  That is all he can see.
And the turtles, of course... all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.

The Gospel of Wealth

I like to go into bookstores and find out "what's new" and "what's hot." Sometimes it reminds me that I need to do my taxes. Sometimes it reminds me it is Black History Month.

Sometimes it just scares me.

I thought you should see that; cause I know I wasn't expecting it to exist. Then again, if I'd thought about it a little longer I should have guessed it was out there.