Harry V

I went to one of those Midnight Magic parties a few years ago. I watched the affair, fascinated with the face painting and magic tricks my friends working at Barnes and Noble were putting on. Once everyone got in line for the book sale I left. Heather and I went to Wal-Mart to run an errand on our way home. There was a entire pallet of untouched books. They were 20% off the cover price you'd pay if you stood in line. I bought one. Heather bought one.

Four years after starting it I finally finished Harry Potter V. I started and stopped so many times I can't count. Other things to read, other things to do... and it is just so slow. After losing my bookmark, I think I read the middle hundred pages twice on accident.

Someone told me it was the best book they ever read; that I just had to wait till the end... er... um...

From the mixed up files of...

I've been there for six days. I'm getting the dynamics down.

One lady finds dirty books and walks around asking who bought it. They blamed it on the guy that was out of town. She also calls every week to complain about the elevator.

One guy takes the dirty pictures (oil refinery workers and interesting pictures from 1970s Vegas) around and shows everyone.

One girl checks in the gifts. Today it was a book of photographs of Japanese sex hotels in a pink wooden box with a pillow.

I don't think five of them can actually speak. Everyone's car keeps breaking down (or the TV or the fridge). They start work at 9AM and end at 5PM. Exactly.

I'm learning to read French auction catalogs. Wonder when that skill will come in handy next?

Biggio

Congrats to him! Well played game (all things considered).
And good for you if you kept watching to see Lee's walk-off grand slam in the 11th.

Luke and Caleb

Tonight I had the unique (now anyway) pleasure of hangin' out with two of my favorite boys of all time Caleb and Luke. Gosh they are cute.

I learned a bunch of monster jokes:

What king of dog does the vampire have?
A Blood Hound

Why does Frankenstein have a nice lawn?
He has a green thumb

A bunch of space jokes:

What planet goes up in the summer and down in the winter?
Mercury

What is in the middle of Jupiter?
I

What do comets and Wishbone (the terrier) have in common?
They are both stars with tails

and a bunch of mad scientist jokes, none of which are worth repeating.

Then I realized... Luke is five. Luke is reading these jokes to me. Gosh that kid is smart.

Dear readers, I thought you too would appreciate Luke's jokes.

Who said the library wasn't dangerous?

Today I was almost crushed by the moving shelves in the basement. Ok, not almost... but the did get turned on to crush me if I hadn't stopped it with my foot.

Rigging Elections

Is anyone else under the impression that the international news media might have rigged the French elections so that they could say "Sarkozy" for the next five years?

Or maybe thats why they report on the French at all.

Fortune Cookies II?

My fortune tonight was "You will have a five star day tomorrow." I've also recently gotten "the love of your life is in front of you" and "promote literacy, buy fortune cookies."

So things are looking up, I'm going to marry the cook at Pei Wei. We'll take our trivia night winnings and open up a fortune cookie bakery.

In other news we had our first Magnet/New York Trip reunion tonight. In the continuing saga Alex locked his keys in the car with the car radio on. Jeffrey had locked his keys in the car that morning. To console them I told them, "everyone does it once." Then I looked at Herber, "unless your name is Herber, then you do it once a week." They made him forfeit his keys to us in New York, cause otherwise he'd lose them.

Ok... not funny unless you were there. I tried. Sorry.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when I tell you about my research on little wooden boats.

The Economics of Time

Today was a busy day for me, much of it revolved around one character whom I will refer to as "Bill." I'll remind you first that I think Bill has a great heart and all that, but that he can drive me completely crazy. We aren't always disagreeing, just most of the time.

I attended two meetings today. Bill was in both. Each lasted approximately 150% longer than necessary, in part because Bill has been gone for six weeks and needed to be caught up on everything.

Here's my problem: Bill's hearing aid isn't working. If you sit next to him you can hear the little battery squeal. I asked him about it once when I noticed it before. Bill explained "I'm a Republican, Kate, I'm trying to save the taxpayers a little money and make my battery last." At least he isn't a hypocrite.

But here is the thing. Your tax dollars and mine are not being spent so Bill's hearing aid doesn't really work. So Bill asks questions, lots of questions. If we billed Bill for our time at our standard labor rates rate per hour... there are a couple lawyers in the group, an accountant, a CEO... it would cost a lot more than the pennies it would cost to replace his battery two weeks earlier. I could even argue he is stifling the economy and driving us all to the nuthouse. Bill won't hear me though.

Dear Bethany

Tag, you're it.
I'm not really calling for any reason, but this is getting ridiculous.

I'm going to miss the Duck Mayor

Where is CPS?

You would think after all the hippie children became CEOs named Rainbow, Sunshine, Echo, Sky, or Marley (ok I can't actually think of any examples, which will only add to another hypothesis) we would learn.

Still I really hope this doesn't catch on. TTFN.

The Best... uh...Person...

I'm back from Oakland. I'm safe (even though Brenda dreamed I'd been quartered) the only major changes: I've got more freckled surface area on my outer arms than white. I still have my arms and legs.

I promised Neal stories. I promised California stories... and so here we go, the first (and probably the best, honestly) Neal story from California.

I'm pretty sure I mentioned that Sam and I were in the wedding. The invitation went something like this:

"What do you mean you'd go to your cousin's wedding over mine? You are in my wedding!" "Um, what? (this could actually mean any number of things)." "You are in my wedding, Katie, and I get you. Um, huh?" "You're on my side." "Um, I'd be honored Neal." "Sam too."

I gave Neal some time to ask Sam... he didn't. So I wound up telling him awhile later. "Neal wants you in his wedding." "Was he going to ask me?" "Eh."

Others:

'Bec & Mark (sister and her husband)
Jane and Woody (business partner and her husband)

That was sometime last February. In the meantime Sam was measured for a tux and on a conference call with the other groom's maids we decided we'd all buy black dresses. Other details were fairly well unknown.

We got to the rehearsal and were asked, by a very flustered wedding coordinator... who's the Best Man.. er the Best Person. Neal already had his answer "we're drawing straws in the morning." "How are they going to know what to do?" "They'll pay attention." Sure Neal.

So we practiced for an hour and a half for a twenty minute ceremony. Fifteen of which was to stand still. Then we went to dinner. The groom's gifts were expected: A business card holder and a book... with a titles like Flushed: How the Plumber Saved Civilization and The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution of the Human Animal. It was nice.

In the morning we putzed around. We set up tables and went to lunch. We were late getting back and all got dressed really fast. We went to the church for pictures at 3PM. Neal called to say we were thirty minutes late, that we needed to be there at 2:30. We got there. The photographer wasn't there. We drank the Two Buck Chuck from Trader Joe's out of glasses borrowed from the hotel. We eventually took pictures in random orders.

At 4:30 we drew straws, but Neal wouldn't tell us if the long straw or the short straw was the Best Man or the secondary Dirt Bearer (another story).

At 4:45 he told us... long straw. Mine was pretty long, as I came back from retrieving it I was told to compare it to Mark's, the longest of the others. There we were, Neal hadn't really bothered to make them very different. There was perhaps a millimeter's difference between the grasses... so he was the Best... uh... Person.

Neal and Karen were toasted by just about all of us. As for mixed weddings I'm for them, even if Texas people kept calling it "a California thing."

Summer of Love

The Ham Sandwich has broken his leg. The pitchers are in a tiff. We can't win more than two games in a row and Phil isn't answering my calls. Come on guys...

June Update

Thus far June has looked a little like this:

Wake up.
Make coffee (I'm cutting back).
Read a little.
Make a few phone calls, return e-mails.
Take a nap.
Run errands/ do homework/ do interview/ do project.
Take another nap.
Read / watch TV / a movie
Take a nap.
Hang out a bit in the evening (trivia, Bible Study, etc.)
Read / watch movie/ homework.
Sleep.
Repeat.

I'm told I was probably running on pure adrenaline in the last few months... so we'll call this taking dare of myself. If this is still what life looks like in a couple weeks someone get me out of it. Thanks.

Neal is so helpful...

Neal sent me this e-mail:

This was the sponsored ad that showed up on your myspace page.

Sponsored Links

Gay Presbyterian

Read What the Bible Says, and Doesn't Say, about Homosexuality.

www.soulforce.org

New York...

Speedy Gonzales

This summer Sam is turtle sitting. Here is a picture.



We'll try to keep you updated.

Its over!

Vacation Bible School is over. Over over over over. I didn't get there until 8ish any day (compare to 7ish the rest of this year). I didn't do anything but move crafts around and do crafts with a bunch of little kids. It was over by noon every day (compare to 4ish the rest of this year).

But every day, almost without fail I came home to take a nap. I think around August I'll probably catch up on all my sleep... in the meantime I'm going to see SpamALot today. No one has told me it isn't good, but the descriptions have been, well... varied.

Why I'm a Presbyterian

I've probably had this exact same post before.

Why I'm a Presbyterian: The directors of VBS are already planning on Tuesday to hit the bars after the dinner on Friday. That by the way is worse than teachers, who usually don't start planning that until Wednesday morning.

Back from the Big Apple

Home again, home again. After being trapped in New Jersey for several hours I'm glad to be back. It was a fun trip though (have I said how much I love those kids?!?!?!?!?) I think I slept 15 hours in the last four days. Thats what you get when you stay up like a 17 year old and wake up like an adult. Not that I'm either of those things.

I'll post pictures soon, and share a few stories... but not until my hard drive stops being corrupted. Say a little prayer. Thanks.

Greetings from the Apple Cube

I love my brother. He is awesome. He's a lot of fun and keeps me out of a lot of trouble. He is taking good care of Speedy and the fish, though I don't know the name of the fish.

Hey there roommie

It was pointed out at a funeral this weekend that there is a foil in my blog... my littlest brother Sam. Love you Sam!

I just wanted to let you know I won't be home the next few nights, I'd like you to pick me up from the airport at 9:00PM on Friday. Thanks man!

I'm a Maniac

For the second time in my life I will be a Maniac.

Yet again the illustrious and irreplaceable Dr. A ordered me a Master's robe from the University of Maine. So I'm gonna drop out of school, I mean I already have the degree and everything.

At least the blue is pretty.

Its The End of the World As We Know It

The problem with idioms

Will I ever learn?

My seniors did a budget project where one of their goals was to create a "rainy day fund." They had to figure out how to save 2 months of their income in the next year for an emergency fund (also stated on the instructions).

Apparently they aren't all familiar with the term:

"If I have to evacuate for a natural disaster, I'll have money to support myself."

"I really don't need to buy anything for watery or rainy days."

"For certain period of the year I would save money for the natural diaster in case there are any parts of it I need to face. I will need some items that will from the nature and I would have to figure out how many I will need and that type items I need as cushions. I would have to know how much that's going to cost me in total. Im reallu not aware of this situation right now so I would most likely to save $5 a day to buy the right products I need for the wet atmosphere."

Momma said there'd be days like this...

When I was in high school I used to complain that I was busy and therefore tired.
When I was in college I used to complain that I was busy and therefore tired.
When I first started teaching I used to complain that I was too busy and therefore tired.

That wasn't that bad...

Oh, by the way Sam - I'm going to New York next week. I am, I am, I am.

I'll send you a post card.

Gas Prices and Batting Averages

It is baseball season and while most of you are thinking of "line drives" I have some other thoughts on the "driving season."

According to the American Automoblie Association the national gas price is $3.21/gallon. In Houston it is still lower, given that we well uh... own the... uh... well the gas doesn't have as far to travel. Yeah that's it.

Still, the national average is 321, which puts it equal to Kiki Cuyler's carrer batting average. By July we should hit Ty Cobb's.

Here's to insignificant data.

Shrek The Third

This one was about what I expected. Funny, but still more of the same.

I was disappointed by the greater use of non-fairy tale allusions. Did you know Wizard of Oz was a fairy tale? What about Lord of the Rings?

You should see it, though maybe not just yet.

You just can't surprise me...

Two teachers from my neck of the woods are leaving: Rhodes and I.

A certain boy, known by many as "the cookie man" came by my room today for me to sign a going away/good luck card for Rhodes. Then he asked if I wanted to contribute to a gift. Then he told me that whatever I gave I'd get half back.

Then he explained the math. Give me $5, Miss, and you'll get $2.50 back.

Attention numismatists!

Save your Texas Quarters!

Hang on to any of the new Texas Quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.

The US Mint announced that it is recalling all of the Texas quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or any other coin operated devices.

The problem lies in the unique design of the Texas quarter, which was designed by a team of Austin specialists.
Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming up the machines.

{Ok that was an e-mail forward... sorry}