...she had it all but she wanted more,
like Eve and Lucifer before.
For those of you fascinated by this "The Cardinal was a Spy" story that's broken over the last few weeks I thought I'd share a few more church scandals.
The Inquisition
Legend of Pope Joan
Galileo
Benedict XIV as Hitler Youth?
Magdalen Asylum
Johann Tetzel & Indulgences
The Antipope John XXIII
The Children's Crusade
Alexander VI
Thats just a taste and I stayed away from Dan Brown. Sorry.
Monday, January 08, 2007
One week in and...
One of my prayers for this semester was that none of my students would get pregnant/father a child. That's over.
Damn, Sam.
Damn, Sam.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Economics Lesson I
My government class has faded out with the solstice and has risen again transformed into economics. It is possible that economics can explain (most) of the world around us, although sometimes just in probabilities, likelihoods and statistics. How romantic it is.
My first lesson of the new year began with a list of things that my students want and need. We sorted out the difference and then discussed unlimited wants and the problem of scarcity. I told them how when I was their age few students (if any) had cell phones, that the common practice was always to have a couple of quarters. They asked me how old I was and if I wore bell bottom jeans.
We talked about the car phone and the early cell phones, you know... the one my dad has. The one Steve Porbunderwala (ha, I can still spell it!) carried around... the one that was the size of a chiwawa. I talked about the smaller and smaller phones and the more color and the mp3 players and... The Razr (or whatever). They told me that it was now "out" and what was "in" was the chocolat and the BlackJack and some other thing I'd never heard of. One kid has GPS & Google maps built into his...
Now 90% of these kids are on free and reduced lunch. There is a lovely Irish woman at the school that collects coats for them, because they have none. Their SAT and AP tests are paid for, as is night school when they fail the class the first time. And yet... well over 70% have phones that are "cooler" (and more expensive) than mine... and bills to match. They had the Razr last year and now they have whatever new thing is inundating my computer with popup ads and banners. They'll drop out of school because they need to pay their bills... but they aren't really talking about food, water, rent, and electricity.
This isn't all of them of course... but I'm not anxious to do my taxes either.
For further explaination of this concept I recommend Numeroff's economic classic If you Give a Mouse a Cookie.
Another economist note: Thanks to New England for having a mild winter, you are keeping my gas prices down. I think y'all should wear sweaters next year. I'll send you some yarn and we can get to knitting.
My first lesson of the new year began with a list of things that my students want and need. We sorted out the difference and then discussed unlimited wants and the problem of scarcity. I told them how when I was their age few students (if any) had cell phones, that the common practice was always to have a couple of quarters. They asked me how old I was and if I wore bell bottom jeans.
We talked about the car phone and the early cell phones, you know... the one my dad has. The one Steve Porbunderwala (ha, I can still spell it!) carried around... the one that was the size of a chiwawa. I talked about the smaller and smaller phones and the more color and the mp3 players and... The Razr (or whatever). They told me that it was now "out" and what was "in" was the chocolat and the BlackJack and some other thing I'd never heard of. One kid has GPS & Google maps built into his...
Now 90% of these kids are on free and reduced lunch. There is a lovely Irish woman at the school that collects coats for them, because they have none. Their SAT and AP tests are paid for, as is night school when they fail the class the first time. And yet... well over 70% have phones that are "cooler" (and more expensive) than mine... and bills to match. They had the Razr last year and now they have whatever new thing is inundating my computer with popup ads and banners. They'll drop out of school because they need to pay their bills... but they aren't really talking about food, water, rent, and electricity.
This isn't all of them of course... but I'm not anxious to do my taxes either.
For further explaination of this concept I recommend Numeroff's economic classic If you Give a Mouse a Cookie.
Another economist note: Thanks to New England for having a mild winter, you are keeping my gas prices down. I think y'all should wear sweaters next year. I'll send you some yarn and we can get to knitting.
Cupcakes Quiz
Santa gave me a cake pedestal for Christmas, a beautiful glass one. There isn't enough room in the closets to put it away so it must constantly be stocked. Cake pedestals without confections look stupid.
Thus far:
Eggnog cupcakes
Margarita cupcakes
Dreamsicle cupcakes
and Tiramisu cupcakes
Which of these things is not like the other one?
Answer:
Dreamsicle. This is the only cupcake not to have liquor in the cake or the frosting.
Eggnog - whisky & rum
Margarita - tequila
Tiramisu - kalua
An expected effect:
We should have a fully stocked liquor shelf by summer; not just fifteen kinds of bourbon.
A should-have-been-anticipated effect:
Can't take these to Model UN to serve to my Muslim kids.
An unanticipated effect:
My cupcakes were molested sometime in the night by someone trying to replace the lid on the stand.
A totally unanticipated effect:
The girl that hangs around my brother is no longer afraid of me (I'm scary, did you know that?). Sam wrote down his cupcake requests and she looked up the page numbers.
Thus far:
Eggnog cupcakes
Margarita cupcakes
Dreamsicle cupcakes
and Tiramisu cupcakes
Which of these things is not like the other one?
Answer:
Dreamsicle. This is the only cupcake not to have liquor in the cake or the frosting.
Eggnog - whisky & rum
Margarita - tequila
Tiramisu - kalua
An expected effect:
We should have a fully stocked liquor shelf by summer; not just fifteen kinds of bourbon.
A should-have-been-anticipated effect:
Can't take these to Model UN to serve to my Muslim kids.
An unanticipated effect:
My cupcakes were molested sometime in the night by someone trying to replace the lid on the stand.
A totally unanticipated effect:
The girl that hangs around my brother is no longer afraid of me (I'm scary, did you know that?). Sam wrote down his cupcake requests and she looked up the page numbers.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
The problem with Gardner
Today actually gave me a lot of material to work with.
1) Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences.
2) What I hope to be a series of the economics of urban poverty... based on anecdotal studies.
3) The problem of the electricity going out in a classroom with 8" windows.
4) The reason the U.S. has to stay in Iraq is because if we leave half the population of Iraq might be wiped out.
Each of these will be covered in turn... maybe. Or maybe I'll have new material.
Since it came first though, I'd like to share my thoughts on Howard Gardner (not to be confused with Phil Garner):
In essence Howard Gardner believed that all children have some natural ability, and that the traditional school curriculum does not allow all children to foster what he believes is their natural intellegence. Children are encouraged to learn based on their strengths and tricked into learning based by sliding the curriculum into something that a child is particularly interested in... art, music, intrapersonal relationships...
Bored yet? I thought so. Allow me to tell you how primary schoolish this is and how impractical in our current school system. We are given curriculum to teach, tests for the kids to pass, and sometimes we are even told exactly how it is we are going to teach these precious children this curriculum... none of which includes art or music. I have over a hundred kids, I'm lucky to know anything about them... and a struggling kid, well, odds are they have their own kettle of fish to deal with and they don't have the time to spend composing a symphony on the Great Depression or creating a painting of the beaches of Normandy. I'm secondary education in a public school... I'm convinced some of these children can't read, how does letting them paint a picture help them? Are we lying to them if we tell them that they only need to use their gifts?
Anyhoo, that isn't funny so I thought I'd share my experience with multiple intellegence in high school. Likely caused by some sort of sick inservice they made poor Mrs. Hatfield attend.
My junior year of high school I was asked to read Huck Finn. I don't remember having to take a test, though it is possible. I remember the project though. We could do "anything we liked" as long as it had to do with Huck Finn. Among others these were the results:
FIVE MEN COOKING
Five of my classmates wrote a full length southern cooking show (which I actually watched three times given that they kept talking my teachers into showing it in class). In it Mark, Matt, Ben, Matt, and Ben filmed a cooking show in the vain of Emeril where we learned how to: make fried chicken which came in a red and white box, how to make Jiffy cornbread, how to make mashed potatoes (which came in a red and white styrofoam container) and how to toss a salad. It was informative and helped me understand Huck Finn better.
HUCK & JIM'S TOTALLY AWESOME RAFT TRIP
Another video was made in which James Watt (skinny little white kid) played Jim and Tre Lawson (pretty big black kid) played Huck. There was no sound, they acted like they were on a raft. Huck fell off the raft onto his lawn. Jim saved him. The end. It was very informative and helped me understand Huck Finn better.
APPLE STACK CAKE
My project (with my friend Neil) was to make an apple stack cake. It is a traditional Appalachian dessert (yeah I know Huck Finn wasn't in East Tennessee) which my grandmother used to make. The goal is have as many layers as possible and have the whole thing come out flat. It is yummy and difficult. I made mine. I had 18 layers but it wasn't flat. Neil - dyslexic Neil - who couldn't spell to save his life typed the recipe. We got a hundred. I made good cake. I learned a lot about Huck Finn.
Such was my English education. Which explains why I think Aunt Polly's name is Nancy, but definitely not Ruth.
I also turned Julius Caesar into a Dragnet episode while I was on a lot of pain killers for my wisdom teeth. I did an autopsy report and everything. I put a tin foil hat on a Troll to prove to the world I'd read Edith Hamilton's Mythology. I used a Mr. Potato Head doll for Hero of a Thousand Faces; I dressed in Beatnik black for a reading of The Waste Land. We got extra points for bringing in a stoplight.
Funny thing is I actually did read all those books... and more... the only one I skipped was The Awakening. Someone walks out into the sea or something.
1) Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences.
2) What I hope to be a series of the economics of urban poverty... based on anecdotal studies.
3) The problem of the electricity going out in a classroom with 8" windows.
4) The reason the U.S. has to stay in Iraq is because if we leave half the population of Iraq might be wiped out.
Each of these will be covered in turn... maybe. Or maybe I'll have new material.
Since it came first though, I'd like to share my thoughts on Howard Gardner (not to be confused with Phil Garner):
In essence Howard Gardner believed that all children have some natural ability, and that the traditional school curriculum does not allow all children to foster what he believes is their natural intellegence. Children are encouraged to learn based on their strengths and tricked into learning based by sliding the curriculum into something that a child is particularly interested in... art, music, intrapersonal relationships...
Bored yet? I thought so. Allow me to tell you how primary schoolish this is and how impractical in our current school system. We are given curriculum to teach, tests for the kids to pass, and sometimes we are even told exactly how it is we are going to teach these precious children this curriculum... none of which includes art or music. I have over a hundred kids, I'm lucky to know anything about them... and a struggling kid, well, odds are they have their own kettle of fish to deal with and they don't have the time to spend composing a symphony on the Great Depression or creating a painting of the beaches of Normandy. I'm secondary education in a public school... I'm convinced some of these children can't read, how does letting them paint a picture help them? Are we lying to them if we tell them that they only need to use their gifts?
Anyhoo, that isn't funny so I thought I'd share my experience with multiple intellegence in high school. Likely caused by some sort of sick inservice they made poor Mrs. Hatfield attend.
My junior year of high school I was asked to read Huck Finn. I don't remember having to take a test, though it is possible. I remember the project though. We could do "anything we liked" as long as it had to do with Huck Finn. Among others these were the results:
FIVE MEN COOKING
Five of my classmates wrote a full length southern cooking show (which I actually watched three times given that they kept talking my teachers into showing it in class). In it Mark, Matt, Ben, Matt, and Ben filmed a cooking show in the vain of Emeril where we learned how to: make fried chicken which came in a red and white box, how to make Jiffy cornbread, how to make mashed potatoes (which came in a red and white styrofoam container) and how to toss a salad. It was informative and helped me understand Huck Finn better.
HUCK & JIM'S TOTALLY AWESOME RAFT TRIP
Another video was made in which James Watt (skinny little white kid) played Jim and Tre Lawson (pretty big black kid) played Huck. There was no sound, they acted like they were on a raft. Huck fell off the raft onto his lawn. Jim saved him. The end. It was very informative and helped me understand Huck Finn better.
APPLE STACK CAKE
My project (with my friend Neil) was to make an apple stack cake. It is a traditional Appalachian dessert (yeah I know Huck Finn wasn't in East Tennessee) which my grandmother used to make. The goal is have as many layers as possible and have the whole thing come out flat. It is yummy and difficult. I made mine. I had 18 layers but it wasn't flat. Neil - dyslexic Neil - who couldn't spell to save his life typed the recipe. We got a hundred. I made good cake. I learned a lot about Huck Finn.
Such was my English education. Which explains why I think Aunt Polly's name is Nancy, but definitely not Ruth.
I also turned Julius Caesar into a Dragnet episode while I was on a lot of pain killers for my wisdom teeth. I did an autopsy report and everything. I put a tin foil hat on a Troll to prove to the world I'd read Edith Hamilton's Mythology. I used a Mr. Potato Head doll for Hero of a Thousand Faces; I dressed in Beatnik black for a reading of The Waste Land. We got extra points for bringing in a stoplight.
Funny thing is I actually did read all those books... and more... the only one I skipped was The Awakening. Someone walks out into the sea or something.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Cat sitting update (not written in a plea for prayer)
I was over at my friends Luke and Julie's house for a Christmas party, pleasantly petting their cat Honey. Honey likes me in 30 second intervals before he moves onto someone else. It was then that the question arose.
"So Kate, I've noticed you like cats."
(No actually, but it was clear that there was a motive and manipulation behind the statement.) "Yeah, some."
"Would you like to cat sit for us???"
"I can do that." I say this because cats are easy to sit for. I've cat sit for some and never met the cat. See Boris and Natasha, who only left evidence of still being alive.
So it began. I'm the temporary care taker of one Shadow Hockaday, a beautiful black tom cat. I've been over there five times in the last week to take care of him. We kinda had a little bond going. He would eat a little, lie out to get scratched behind his ears. Walk around my legs and smell me. I would think, wow - now why don't I like cats?
I've been in the habit of taking the used litter to the outside trash can, but things changed New Year's Eve. When I went to open the door he bolted out into the dark of the night. I threw out the cat crap, keeping my eyes on the little guy. Then I went to pull him back in. We stalked each other around the house a few times. He clawed at me. He hissed and he clawed again. I went to get bait, he wouldn't come. I went to get a towel to grab him and he was gone, a black cat disappeared into the night. I waited around, he didn't return.
I called a slightly tipsy Ms. Hockaday for advice. There were no suggestions that I hadn't already tried. So I waited a little more, and failing for the cat to return I left some food and water out, and left. I implored our friends and my faithful readers who pray and think happy thoughts out there to some higher power... to pray that Shadow Hockaday wouldn't be the newest dish on the menu at the Road Kill Cafe. I would like the little guy to be sitting on the front porch when I went back in the daylight.
I packed up a kit of things to do when hanging out at the Hockaday's and went back this morning to recapture the cat. Shadow was not sitting on the porch as Ms. Hockaday had projected. I left the front door open a crack and walked around the house looking for a black figure in the bushes. There was none. I reentered the house and settled into read, then there the little guy was pining for attention at my feet. Sweet little bipolar cat.
The next trick was getting myself out of the house without the much faster, smaller, and wittier cat slipping out. I won, but that's another story.
Now I remember why I don't like cats. They aren't easily bribed with food like everything else I seek to control.
"So Kate, I've noticed you like cats."
(No actually, but it was clear that there was a motive and manipulation behind the statement.) "Yeah, some."
"Would you like to cat sit for us???"
"I can do that." I say this because cats are easy to sit for. I've cat sit for some and never met the cat. See Boris and Natasha, who only left evidence of still being alive.
So it began. I'm the temporary care taker of one Shadow Hockaday, a beautiful black tom cat. I've been over there five times in the last week to take care of him. We kinda had a little bond going. He would eat a little, lie out to get scratched behind his ears. Walk around my legs and smell me. I would think, wow - now why don't I like cats?
I've been in the habit of taking the used litter to the outside trash can, but things changed New Year's Eve. When I went to open the door he bolted out into the dark of the night. I threw out the cat crap, keeping my eyes on the little guy. Then I went to pull him back in. We stalked each other around the house a few times. He clawed at me. He hissed and he clawed again. I went to get bait, he wouldn't come. I went to get a towel to grab him and he was gone, a black cat disappeared into the night. I waited around, he didn't return.
I called a slightly tipsy Ms. Hockaday for advice. There were no suggestions that I hadn't already tried. So I waited a little more, and failing for the cat to return I left some food and water out, and left. I implored our friends and my faithful readers who pray and think happy thoughts out there to some higher power... to pray that Shadow Hockaday wouldn't be the newest dish on the menu at the Road Kill Cafe. I would like the little guy to be sitting on the front porch when I went back in the daylight.
I packed up a kit of things to do when hanging out at the Hockaday's and went back this morning to recapture the cat. Shadow was not sitting on the porch as Ms. Hockaday had projected. I left the front door open a crack and walked around the house looking for a black figure in the bushes. There was none. I reentered the house and settled into read, then there the little guy was pining for attention at my feet. Sweet little bipolar cat.
The next trick was getting myself out of the house without the much faster, smaller, and wittier cat slipping out. I won, but that's another story.
Now I remember why I don't like cats. They aren't easily bribed with food like everything else I seek to control.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
The problem with packages
Almost a month ago I was asked to see if I could get a hold of a copy of The Fourth Wiseman a comic rendering of the wise man who missed the birth of Jesus because he was busy helping a man who had been robbed on the side of the road. He spends the next thirty some odd years looking for the child king become a man, hanging out with lepers all while his slave begs that they just go home and give up their quest... even more annoyed when the quest is paused to help the helpless. It all stars Martin Sheen, which in light of Two and a Half Men seems a bit strange. Isn't the Sheen supposed to be chasing after a blond or something?
But that isn't my story.
My story is of my own quest. I was asked to get a hold of this movie for Sunday school on this New Year's Eve. Other classes were canceled, anticipating that this indeed would be "low Sunday" and not many would be around. We'd combine classes so that we wouldn't just be scattered to the four winds lamenting our brothers and sisters who were so wise as to roll over in bed or settle in with the newspaper this morning.
I began my quest by confirming that NetFlix did have the movie. I put it in my queue to be requested at the top of my list the day after Christmas, in good time to have the movie without much stress. I'd continue my movie marathon and all would be well. It was well. Classes were canceled, the event was published. We even figured out how to use a popcorn machine. But all was not well.
Some days before Christmas I looked at my queue. Something had changed. Now instead of all the movies being available now (save for Its A Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street, predictably enough had a "short wait) now one movie had "a very long wait." You guessed it that one movie was The Fourth Wiseman, a movie unknown to myself two weeks ago but apparently known by every other pastor who was interested in showing films. Alas, I could not depend on the oh so dependable NetFlix.
I've done the thing before, where I ran around the city and made phone calls looking for a movie. That was all well and good once, but it wouldn't serve us well in the end... or be likely to yield fruit. Have you seen it at Blockbuster? Besides, aren't all the Blockbusters slowly closing?
So I turned to the purchasing option, and decided to have the CE committee (me) bless the purchase. I looked on Amazon. Out of stock. Available in 2-3 weeks. Ok, lets look at Barnes and Noble. My luck they had it, and it could easily be delivered just after Christmas. I ordered enough other books to make the shipping free... and it was set no worries.
Christmas came, and Christmas went. I got an e-mail saying that the package indeed was shipped, I could expect it on Friday (or Saturday at the latest) via USPS. I could pick it up at the apartment office by 5PM, and while I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of cutting it that close it could have been closer. And it was.
December 27th rolled around and I got an e-mail from Barnes and Noble. "Due to an unexpected delay, we are unable to ship the merchandise listed below in the time frame indicated in our previous email. We anticipate that your merchandise will be shipped within the next 1-5 business days. (Please note: business days are Monday through Friday, excluding holidays observed by the Post Office.) As always, you will not be charged until this merchandise ships from our warehouse."
How nice of them not to charge me. Ha! That merchandise was not the other books that I ordered, they indeed would be here right on time. It was indeed none other than the holy grail of church Christmas movies. The Fourth Wiseman. Apparently BN.com didn't anticipate the film's popularity either. So I canceled my order and began to think of alternatives.
A Christmas Story? I had that one, somehow it wasn't quite Sunday School material.
Miracle on 34th Street? Its a Wonderful Life? All cliche and secular.
The Nativity Story, wait that isn't out on DVD yet and I didn't want to see it anyway.
Brother Sun, Sister Moon? No... that wouldn't do. There's nudity in that... I'm not uncomfortable with nudity, are you?!?!?!?!?!?!
The most likely substitute seemed to be Monty Python's Life of Brian. It is the story of someone who keeps missing Jesus after all. What would be the difference between a wiseman who missed Jesus and the boy born in the stable next to him. So what if the Catholic Church banned it? We didn't nail the 95 theses up at Wittenberg to be tied to the pope's dogma. We're Protestants after all. My gut though said we shouldn't go with it.
Now I've had a few long dark nights of the soul recently. Stewing over things that will not be published for posterity's sake... and in the midst of one of these long dark nights I came up with the solution. One day shipping. It was it was prodigal and indulgent; a sin my thrifty upbringing had not allowed to even cross my mind... you mean you don't have to get Super Saver shipping? And so late that night I did it. I ordered a single movie with one day shipping from Amazon (which incidentally now had my movie in stock). I did this after I signed up for a free trial of Amazon Prime (so my one day shipping would set me back $1.99). Hah, I'll be canceling that one soon.
Anywho all is right in the world. UPS would deliver my package on Friday. I tracked it online. It shipped out late Thursday night, arrived in Houston and was out for delivery Friday morning. I put a sign out so that the package would be safe in my hands. I would not trust Alan the apartment manager (who swears I do not have a package while my hand holds the little slip) to handle my cargo.
And 5PM came and 5PM went, strange... there was no package in my hands. No package on the doorstep. I tracked it again. It had been delivered. It had been delivered but not to me. I looked in Sam's room. Not there. My package was here, I didn't know where. I looked again. It had been signed for by "Perry" who the hell is Perry???? And so I began to think again... Maybe Life of Brian wouldn't be so bad. Maybe we could all just make paper airplanes. I couldn't very well just fake laryngitis and write on the board "read your textbook, take notes - there will be a quiz" when something has gone terribly wrong at work and I can't teach. I've never done that... but it is up my sleeve.
At 10AM the apartment office opened. They did indeed have my package (and a few others they've been swearing they didn't have). My DVD was indeed in the package and it did indeed work.
And so the film rolled at 9:30 this morning and I went to find extra chairs.
Ye of little faith.
But that isn't my story.
My story is of my own quest. I was asked to get a hold of this movie for Sunday school on this New Year's Eve. Other classes were canceled, anticipating that this indeed would be "low Sunday" and not many would be around. We'd combine classes so that we wouldn't just be scattered to the four winds lamenting our brothers and sisters who were so wise as to roll over in bed or settle in with the newspaper this morning.
I began my quest by confirming that NetFlix did have the movie. I put it in my queue to be requested at the top of my list the day after Christmas, in good time to have the movie without much stress. I'd continue my movie marathon and all would be well. It was well. Classes were canceled, the event was published. We even figured out how to use a popcorn machine. But all was not well.
Some days before Christmas I looked at my queue. Something had changed. Now instead of all the movies being available now (save for Its A Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street, predictably enough had a "short wait) now one movie had "a very long wait." You guessed it that one movie was The Fourth Wiseman, a movie unknown to myself two weeks ago but apparently known by every other pastor who was interested in showing films. Alas, I could not depend on the oh so dependable NetFlix.
I've done the thing before, where I ran around the city and made phone calls looking for a movie. That was all well and good once, but it wouldn't serve us well in the end... or be likely to yield fruit. Have you seen it at Blockbuster? Besides, aren't all the Blockbusters slowly closing?
So I turned to the purchasing option, and decided to have the CE committee (me) bless the purchase. I looked on Amazon. Out of stock. Available in 2-3 weeks. Ok, lets look at Barnes and Noble. My luck they had it, and it could easily be delivered just after Christmas. I ordered enough other books to make the shipping free... and it was set no worries.
Christmas came, and Christmas went. I got an e-mail saying that the package indeed was shipped, I could expect it on Friday (or Saturday at the latest) via USPS. I could pick it up at the apartment office by 5PM, and while I wasn't thrilled with the prospect of cutting it that close it could have been closer. And it was.
December 27th rolled around and I got an e-mail from Barnes and Noble. "Due to an unexpected delay, we are unable to ship the merchandise listed below in the time frame indicated in our previous email. We anticipate that your merchandise will be shipped within the next 1-5 business days. (Please note: business days are Monday through Friday, excluding holidays observed by the Post Office.) As always, you will not be charged until this merchandise ships from our warehouse."
How nice of them not to charge me. Ha! That merchandise was not the other books that I ordered, they indeed would be here right on time. It was indeed none other than the holy grail of church Christmas movies. The Fourth Wiseman. Apparently BN.com didn't anticipate the film's popularity either. So I canceled my order and began to think of alternatives.
A Christmas Story? I had that one, somehow it wasn't quite Sunday School material.
Miracle on 34th Street? Its a Wonderful Life? All cliche and secular.
The Nativity Story, wait that isn't out on DVD yet and I didn't want to see it anyway.
Brother Sun, Sister Moon? No... that wouldn't do. There's nudity in that... I'm not uncomfortable with nudity, are you?!?!?!?!?!?!
The most likely substitute seemed to be Monty Python's Life of Brian. It is the story of someone who keeps missing Jesus after all. What would be the difference between a wiseman who missed Jesus and the boy born in the stable next to him. So what if the Catholic Church banned it? We didn't nail the 95 theses up at Wittenberg to be tied to the pope's dogma. We're Protestants after all. My gut though said we shouldn't go with it.
Now I've had a few long dark nights of the soul recently. Stewing over things that will not be published for posterity's sake... and in the midst of one of these long dark nights I came up with the solution. One day shipping. It was it was prodigal and indulgent; a sin my thrifty upbringing had not allowed to even cross my mind... you mean you don't have to get Super Saver shipping? And so late that night I did it. I ordered a single movie with one day shipping from Amazon (which incidentally now had my movie in stock). I did this after I signed up for a free trial of Amazon Prime (so my one day shipping would set me back $1.99). Hah, I'll be canceling that one soon.
Anywho all is right in the world. UPS would deliver my package on Friday. I tracked it online. It shipped out late Thursday night, arrived in Houston and was out for delivery Friday morning. I put a sign out so that the package would be safe in my hands. I would not trust Alan the apartment manager (who swears I do not have a package while my hand holds the little slip) to handle my cargo.
And 5PM came and 5PM went, strange... there was no package in my hands. No package on the doorstep. I tracked it again. It had been delivered. It had been delivered but not to me. I looked in Sam's room. Not there. My package was here, I didn't know where. I looked again. It had been signed for by "Perry" who the hell is Perry???? And so I began to think again... Maybe Life of Brian wouldn't be so bad. Maybe we could all just make paper airplanes. I couldn't very well just fake laryngitis and write on the board "read your textbook, take notes - there will be a quiz" when something has gone terribly wrong at work and I can't teach. I've never done that... but it is up my sleeve.
At 10AM the apartment office opened. They did indeed have my package (and a few others they've been swearing they didn't have). My DVD was indeed in the package and it did indeed work.
And so the film rolled at 9:30 this morning and I went to find extra chairs.
Ye of little faith.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas from the Far Side
In the Old Testament to talk to God a high priest had to cut up a couple of lambs, offer gifts for his own sins and then offer more sacrifices for the people. Whoever the lucky soul was entered once a year with bells tied to his cloak and a rope around his waist just in case he wasn’t as sinless as they had thought… how else would you retrieve a dead priest from the Holy of Holies? He washed, he fasted, he passed through the curtains so that he might even have a moment to talk to God. We were indeed sinners in the hands of an angry God.
Something changed.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
News source...
Those of you who know me might know that I listen to quite a lot of National Public Radio. I listen on my way to work, on my way home from work, and before the electricity went off and my clock at work was reset I listened at work too. When they are playing classical music I listen to CDs, which isn't really when I'm in the car so well...
I've defended it before Mark Robinson and the Sauer parental units who seem to think it is the product of the communist party. I'm a socialist guys... do you know of any socialist radio stations? This is my primary news source. I'll read other stuff, watch the occasional world news and sometimes something will entice me to watch local news. I don't have cable.
Here is my problem. NPR is real news peppered with special interest stories. The real news for a year focused on New Orleans and Katrina evacuees. While the rest of the world moved onto the news story of the day, NPR focused on their plight. I did too, after all they were in my classes... or rather they were on my roll. Since the election season NPR has made a transition to discussing the quagmire that is Iraq and had a tremendous focus on the ISG. Every morning I wake up to hear that indeed we aren't winning the war, that we might indeed be losing it even after our key objectives have been accomplished and we have declared victory. "We aren't winnin'; we aren't losin'."
My complaint is not that it is biased, everything is biased. If you know the bias you use your brain to figure it out... my complaint is that there are many many other things going on in the world, in the nation, in my state, and in my city that I don't hear about... and as a result I'm not doing well on the NPR news quiz. I do ok, but only because I'm really good at making educated guesses. This seems a shame, since I'm not doing well on the news quiz that THEY put out.
I've also been caught off guard when the following have been referenced by my friends/coworkers: Taco Bell and e-coli, Pam Anderson & Kid Rock's split, the death of Steve Irwin, Andy Pettite going back to the Yankees... there is a hole in my life. I'll admit I wasn't more than twelve hours behind... and friends can count as news sources.
Still I aspire to be a news junkie... and I need help.
Ideas?
I've defended it before Mark Robinson and the Sauer parental units who seem to think it is the product of the communist party. I'm a socialist guys... do you know of any socialist radio stations? This is my primary news source. I'll read other stuff, watch the occasional world news and sometimes something will entice me to watch local news. I don't have cable.
Here is my problem. NPR is real news peppered with special interest stories. The real news for a year focused on New Orleans and Katrina evacuees. While the rest of the world moved onto the news story of the day, NPR focused on their plight. I did too, after all they were in my classes... or rather they were on my roll. Since the election season NPR has made a transition to discussing the quagmire that is Iraq and had a tremendous focus on the ISG. Every morning I wake up to hear that indeed we aren't winning the war, that we might indeed be losing it even after our key objectives have been accomplished and we have declared victory. "We aren't winnin'; we aren't losin'."
My complaint is not that it is biased, everything is biased. If you know the bias you use your brain to figure it out... my complaint is that there are many many other things going on in the world, in the nation, in my state, and in my city that I don't hear about... and as a result I'm not doing well on the NPR news quiz. I do ok, but only because I'm really good at making educated guesses. This seems a shame, since I'm not doing well on the news quiz that THEY put out.
I've also been caught off guard when the following have been referenced by my friends/coworkers: Taco Bell and e-coli, Pam Anderson & Kid Rock's split, the death of Steve Irwin, Andy Pettite going back to the Yankees... there is a hole in my life. I'll admit I wasn't more than twelve hours behind... and friends can count as news sources.
Still I aspire to be a news junkie... and I need help.
Ideas?
Friday, December 22, 2006
But it's tradition...
I'll write this on the off chance that someone that cares will read it... (hi Sam, Greg, and maybe Neal)...
For over twenty years we've had a tradition of going downtown and listening to the carolers at the bank. Every year without fail. This is how the event would typically go.
The Wrights would pick up the Dikemans in plenty of time to find parking and get to the bottom of the escalators at the Park Shops. There we would wait for the Sauers, Boisaubins and whoever else might be coming. Either the Sauers or the Boisaubins (both Thorpes) would get lost or have to turn back for something they forgot. When all were gathered we would take a picture... and then attempt to get on the right trolly. We would then proceed to Foley's for some last minute shopping while the kids sat on a bench. We'd walk to the Texas Commerce bank. Neal, Becca, Greg, Sam and I would find a balcony from which to wait for the mothers and Marcus to listen to the carolers. Our seats were reserved by a bank employee acquaintance I never met. We would proceed to the tunnels, to race back (and get lost a few times) to the Park Shops where there was a food court and a Sharper Image. When Neal turned sixteen and was permitted into the Sharper Image unescorted the rest of us were left jealous... McDonald's was of course the restaurant of choice. In the end the mother's exchanged gifts. Mom gave caramels, Cindy gave zucchini bread... Sarah gave an ornament, and Jean gave orange rolls.
Over twenty years have passed...
The parking garage is now too expensive, so we park across the street. The Park Shops are now Houston Center. The escalator no longer leaves us with a place to sit. The trolley stopped running. Foley's is now Macy's. The bank The tunnels have flooded and been totally remodeled, changing our course. We still need a map. Texas Commerce turned into Chase Bank which turned into JP Morgan Chase. The carols haven't changed. They are the same ones. There is one Christmas tree instead of two. They still seem the Hallelujah Chorus (and I still hear in my head "hallelujah its over" even though I stopped begrudging it years ago). We know our way back through the tunnels, but we still second guess each other. The McDonald's and the Sharper Image are gone and we are left with the Bargain Books and an odd little store called the Sterling Armadillo. Mom stopped making caramel and moved to healthier alternatives that require less labor... but the orange rolls still appear each Christmas morning for breakfast.
We've changed too. Andrew was born (he's now 18). Vincent was born (he's now 17). The Lavertys started coming and then the Fitts. Neal and Greg went off to college. Bec and Marcus went off to college. Marcus married Meghan. Bec married Mark. They stopped coming home early for Christmas. Neal moved to California. Bec moved to Tennessee. Greg moved to Tunis, Marcus moved to San Marcus. Now they've stopped coming home for Christmas at all.
And so there we are... I've missed it once in however many years... when I was stranded in Boston after the dorms were closed. That year I picked out Christmas Trees with the McFarland brothers and learned you really shouldn't make brownies with olive oil.
Oh... and Sam and I are still gonna watch movies on Christmas Day... though this time we won't have to settle because of democracy.
For over twenty years we've had a tradition of going downtown and listening to the carolers at the bank. Every year without fail. This is how the event would typically go.
The Wrights would pick up the Dikemans in plenty of time to find parking and get to the bottom of the escalators at the Park Shops. There we would wait for the Sauers, Boisaubins and whoever else might be coming. Either the Sauers or the Boisaubins (both Thorpes) would get lost or have to turn back for something they forgot. When all were gathered we would take a picture... and then attempt to get on the right trolly. We would then proceed to Foley's for some last minute shopping while the kids sat on a bench. We'd walk to the Texas Commerce bank. Neal, Becca, Greg, Sam and I would find a balcony from which to wait for the mothers and Marcus to listen to the carolers. Our seats were reserved by a bank employee acquaintance I never met. We would proceed to the tunnels, to race back (and get lost a few times) to the Park Shops where there was a food court and a Sharper Image. When Neal turned sixteen and was permitted into the Sharper Image unescorted the rest of us were left jealous... McDonald's was of course the restaurant of choice. In the end the mother's exchanged gifts. Mom gave caramels, Cindy gave zucchini bread... Sarah gave an ornament, and Jean gave orange rolls.
Over twenty years have passed...
The parking garage is now too expensive, so we park across the street. The Park Shops are now Houston Center. The escalator no longer leaves us with a place to sit. The trolley stopped running. Foley's is now Macy's. The bank The tunnels have flooded and been totally remodeled, changing our course. We still need a map. Texas Commerce turned into Chase Bank which turned into JP Morgan Chase. The carols haven't changed. They are the same ones. There is one Christmas tree instead of two. They still seem the Hallelujah Chorus (and I still hear in my head "hallelujah its over" even though I stopped begrudging it years ago). We know our way back through the tunnels, but we still second guess each other. The McDonald's and the Sharper Image are gone and we are left with the Bargain Books and an odd little store called the Sterling Armadillo. Mom stopped making caramel and moved to healthier alternatives that require less labor... but the orange rolls still appear each Christmas morning for breakfast.
We've changed too. Andrew was born (he's now 18). Vincent was born (he's now 17). The Lavertys started coming and then the Fitts. Neal and Greg went off to college. Bec and Marcus went off to college. Marcus married Meghan. Bec married Mark. They stopped coming home early for Christmas. Neal moved to California. Bec moved to Tennessee. Greg moved to Tunis, Marcus moved to San Marcus. Now they've stopped coming home for Christmas at all.
And so there we are... I've missed it once in however many years... when I was stranded in Boston after the dorms were closed. That year I picked out Christmas Trees with the McFarland brothers and learned you really shouldn't make brownies with olive oil.
Oh... and Sam and I are still gonna watch movies on Christmas Day... though this time we won't have to settle because of democracy.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Advent 1955
Garrison Keillor reading...
The Advent wind begins to stir
With sea-like sounds in our Scotch fir,
It's dark at breakfast, dark at tea,
And in between we only see
Clouds hurrying across the sky
And rain-wet roads the wind blows dry
And branches bending to the gale
Against great skies all silver-pale.
The world seems traveling into space,
And traveling at a faster pace
Than in the leisured summer weather
When we and it sit out together,
For now we feel the world spin round
On some momentous journey bound —
Journey to what? to whom? to where?
The Advent bells call out 'Prepare,
Your world is journeying to the birth
Of God made Man for us on earth.'
And how, in fact, do we prepare
For the great day that waits us there —
The twenty-fifth day of December,
The birth of Christ? For some it means
An interchange of hunting scenes
On coloured cards. And I remember
Last year I sent out twenty yards,
Laid end to end, of Christmas cards
To people that I scarcely know —
They'd sent a card to me, and so
I had to send one back. Oh dear!
Is this a form of Christmas cheer?
Or is it, which is less surprising,
My pride gone in for advertising?
The only cards that really count
Are that extremely small amount
From real friends who keep in touch
And are not rich but love us much.
Some ways indeed are very odd
By which we hail the birth of God.
We raise the price of things in shops,
We give plain boxes fancy tops
And lines which traders cannot sell
Thus parcell'd go extremely well.
We dole out bribes we call a present
To those to whom we must be pleasant
For business reasons. Our defense is
These bribes are charged against expenses
And bring relief in Income Tax.
Enough of these unworthy cracks!
"The time draws near the birth of Christ',
A present that cannot be priced
Given two thousand years ago.
Yet if God had not given so
He still would be a distant stranger
And not the Baby in the manger.
-John Betjeman
The Advent wind begins to stir
With sea-like sounds in our Scotch fir,
It's dark at breakfast, dark at tea,
And in between we only see
Clouds hurrying across the sky
And rain-wet roads the wind blows dry
And branches bending to the gale
Against great skies all silver-pale.
The world seems traveling into space,
And traveling at a faster pace
Than in the leisured summer weather
When we and it sit out together,
For now we feel the world spin round
On some momentous journey bound —
Journey to what? to whom? to where?
The Advent bells call out 'Prepare,
Your world is journeying to the birth
Of God made Man for us on earth.'
And how, in fact, do we prepare
For the great day that waits us there —
The twenty-fifth day of December,
The birth of Christ? For some it means
An interchange of hunting scenes
On coloured cards. And I remember
Last year I sent out twenty yards,
Laid end to end, of Christmas cards
To people that I scarcely know —
They'd sent a card to me, and so
I had to send one back. Oh dear!
Is this a form of Christmas cheer?
Or is it, which is less surprising,
My pride gone in for advertising?
The only cards that really count
Are that extremely small amount
From real friends who keep in touch
And are not rich but love us much.
Some ways indeed are very odd
By which we hail the birth of God.
We raise the price of things in shops,
We give plain boxes fancy tops
And lines which traders cannot sell
Thus parcell'd go extremely well.
We dole out bribes we call a present
To those to whom we must be pleasant
For business reasons. Our defense is
These bribes are charged against expenses
And bring relief in Income Tax.
Enough of these unworthy cracks!
"The time draws near the birth of Christ',
A present that cannot be priced
Given two thousand years ago.
Yet if God had not given so
He still would be a distant stranger
And not the Baby in the manger.
-John Betjeman
Friday, December 15, 2006
From the boss...
I got a beer stein for Christmas, much better than the "Teachers are #1" pin I got last year.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Maria! I just met a girl named Maria!
I have a new crush, a new crush in the pure sense of "what can they do for me?" I can assure you it isn't physical. It isn't mental. It is positively parasitic.
Background: Long story short they don't really trust teachers at school. Particularly with things like school supplies. I think they think we must be selling the pencils on the black market. Don't ask for letterhead and DON'T ask for a stapler. You are allowed one for your entire tenure no matter what child took out all the springs and joints. To attain other supplies you must ask (someone who is irritated) for access to the closet (or sneak in when it has accidentally been left open). It has become a game. I've made off with dry erase markers and 1000s of post-its (TM), I've horded colored pencils and markers. I've contemplated getting cases of white out and selling it to the prostitutes across the street.
My crush: Her name is Maria. Her primary assets include having the key to the supply closet at work. I can ask her for pencils and she gives me pencils. We got along splendidly, I liked her. She liked me... but I think there is more. Yesterday my printer ran out of ink. In the midst of grades (where I print spreadsheet after spreadsheet giving the kids "updates" of their grades I ran out of ink. I went to my new friend. I asked her for ink. "#56 please." She LET ME INTO THE CLOSET WITH her. There were more... I dared... could I have two (it is kinda like buying insurance)????? Now in the past I've either a) resorted to coming back two hours later and asking another girl for a second cartridge, but Maria was kind. She wasn't going to make me do that. I took it. It pushed her farther, for in the back of the cabinet I saw it. I saw it #57 tri color ink cartridge. I had heard rumors of such things, but had been unable to confirm its presence. There it was, ans she let me have it. I stuffed them into my coat pockets and left the office undetected, wishing not to draw attention to my new found treasures. I don't want my room broken into.... I had been colorless for 2 years; two years of living in shades of gray. But Maria, Maria... she is an angel... and now my world is brilliant Kodak color.
Background: Long story short they don't really trust teachers at school. Particularly with things like school supplies. I think they think we must be selling the pencils on the black market. Don't ask for letterhead and DON'T ask for a stapler. You are allowed one for your entire tenure no matter what child took out all the springs and joints. To attain other supplies you must ask (someone who is irritated) for access to the closet (or sneak in when it has accidentally been left open). It has become a game. I've made off with dry erase markers and 1000s of post-its (TM), I've horded colored pencils and markers. I've contemplated getting cases of white out and selling it to the prostitutes across the street.
My crush: Her name is Maria. Her primary assets include having the key to the supply closet at work. I can ask her for pencils and she gives me pencils. We got along splendidly, I liked her. She liked me... but I think there is more. Yesterday my printer ran out of ink. In the midst of grades (where I print spreadsheet after spreadsheet giving the kids "updates" of their grades I ran out of ink. I went to my new friend. I asked her for ink. "#56 please." She LET ME INTO THE CLOSET WITH her. There were more... I dared... could I have two (it is kinda like buying insurance)????? Now in the past I've either a) resorted to coming back two hours later and asking another girl for a second cartridge, but Maria was kind. She wasn't going to make me do that. I took it. It pushed her farther, for in the back of the cabinet I saw it. I saw it #57 tri color ink cartridge. I had heard rumors of such things, but had been unable to confirm its presence. There it was, ans she let me have it. I stuffed them into my coat pockets and left the office undetected, wishing not to draw attention to my new found treasures. I don't want my room broken into.... I had been colorless for 2 years; two years of living in shades of gray. But Maria, Maria... she is an angel... and now my world is brilliant Kodak color.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Teaching in a broken world
In light of the most recent post I'm aware that some of my faithful readers might think I need to find a new profession. To that I have several replies:
1) How many teachers do you have in HIGH school that were all sugar plums and moxie? I can't remember any that didn't get walked over all the time. Do you really think that that works? My kindergarten teacher friends are a different lot than I. They deal with snot, I don't. Besides it gives me an excuse to do things that are irrational "because I'm mean" can be an explanation for all my sadistic tendencies. You'd rather me take them out on them than you, right?
2) I have a small cult following of fragile young women who aren't aware of how mean I am to others. By fragile I mean some of the strongest girls I've ever met. I don't know if I could raise two kids in high school, if I could have lived as an orphan in Liberia, if I could face the world after witnessing massacres in Bosnia, and I don't know if I could get along taking care of my little brothers and sister while my parents worked three jobs. They seem to be attached to me somehow and it wouldn't be easy to walk away from them to some kind of desk job.
3) I'm in grad school for library science because I felt called to do it. Yeah that was past tense. Don't get me wrong I like it... and I don't want to just drop it because I feel kinda distant from it right now, I had a light load last semester and it didn't take much out of me. Didn't have to think much either.
4) Option #3 of many more, go to seminary. I don't want to say I feel like I'm being called into ministry because I think all of us are. Nor am I saying I want to go or what I'd do with it, but I promised I'd pray about it. Since I can't exactly come at the whole thing unbiased I'd like you all to pray too.
1) How many teachers do you have in HIGH school that were all sugar plums and moxie? I can't remember any that didn't get walked over all the time. Do you really think that that works? My kindergarten teacher friends are a different lot than I. They deal with snot, I don't. Besides it gives me an excuse to do things that are irrational "because I'm mean" can be an explanation for all my sadistic tendencies. You'd rather me take them out on them than you, right?
2) I have a small cult following of fragile young women who aren't aware of how mean I am to others. By fragile I mean some of the strongest girls I've ever met. I don't know if I could raise two kids in high school, if I could have lived as an orphan in Liberia, if I could face the world after witnessing massacres in Bosnia, and I don't know if I could get along taking care of my little brothers and sister while my parents worked three jobs. They seem to be attached to me somehow and it wouldn't be easy to walk away from them to some kind of desk job.
3) I'm in grad school for library science because I felt called to do it. Yeah that was past tense. Don't get me wrong I like it... and I don't want to just drop it because I feel kinda distant from it right now, I had a light load last semester and it didn't take much out of me. Didn't have to think much either.
4) Option #3 of many more, go to seminary. I don't want to say I feel like I'm being called into ministry because I think all of us are. Nor am I saying I want to go or what I'd do with it, but I promised I'd pray about it. Since I can't exactly come at the whole thing unbiased I'd like you all to pray too.
Welcome to the 21st Century, Kate
In the last few weeks I've joined the 21st Century - or rather I've caught up with the rest of my generation. There are some ways I'm sure I won't be joining it... I don't need OnStar as much as a key map for instance, I'm not going to swap technology for common sense.
See this story:
NPR - October 24, 2006 · Just because your automatic navigation system tells you to crash the car, you do not have to do it! A German man's navigation system told him to "turn right, now," even though he wasn't to the corner yet. He crashed into a toilet stall. Also this month, a driver encountered a "closed for construction" sign. But he chose to believe his navigation system, which showed the road was open. Nobody was injured when he crashed into a pile of sand.
But I'm not Amish either. So the new "technologies" I'm playing with:
1) MySpace - It is kind of like playing six degrees of separation. I've found a really random group of people, "because the whole world is on MySpace" but at the same time not everyone is using an e-mail address or an alias I'd recognize. Plus some of these relationship links are old and my high school and college were really big so "Mike" might be Michael Callaway but it also might be well... Michael Swartz. So you'll have to find me.
2) NETFLIX (pronounced Net Flicks) - This was spurred on by needing to find a copy of The Fourth Wiseman and having the Blockbusters near be not near me, small, and less than helpful. Besides I've got two weeks coming up where I just need to be amused... and it is cheaper than cable.
In other news despair.com has Build Your Own Calendars this year. I found a cheaper one that had already been built... so If I'm your Secret Santa you'll be the envy of everyone in the school. Cause every teacher needs one of those.
That and Dilbert as a desktop:
And don't tell me it is insulting to my students. The students that "get it" know what I'm talking about.
See this story:
NPR - October 24, 2006 · Just because your automatic navigation system tells you to crash the car, you do not have to do it! A German man's navigation system told him to "turn right, now," even though he wasn't to the corner yet. He crashed into a toilet stall. Also this month, a driver encountered a "closed for construction" sign. But he chose to believe his navigation system, which showed the road was open. Nobody was injured when he crashed into a pile of sand.
But I'm not Amish either. So the new "technologies" I'm playing with:
1) MySpace - It is kind of like playing six degrees of separation. I've found a really random group of people, "because the whole world is on MySpace" but at the same time not everyone is using an e-mail address or an alias I'd recognize. Plus some of these relationship links are old and my high school and college were really big so "Mike" might be Michael Callaway but it also might be well... Michael Swartz. So you'll have to find me.
2) NETFLIX (pronounced Net Flicks) - This was spurred on by needing to find a copy of The Fourth Wiseman and having the Blockbusters near be not near me, small, and less than helpful. Besides I've got two weeks coming up where I just need to be amused... and it is cheaper than cable.
In other news despair.com has Build Your Own Calendars this year. I found a cheaper one that had already been built... so If I'm your Secret Santa you'll be the envy of everyone in the school. Cause every teacher needs one of those.
That and Dilbert as a desktop:
And don't tell me it is insulting to my students. The students that "get it" know what I'm talking about.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
The best part about...
The best part about the end of the semester is the fact that the students who are going to fail have realized it. There is no point in coming to class at this point. They seem to be skipping enmasse, and they seem to think it ok to tell me that they plan to skip several days in advance.
On the other side of the equation my classes are small and hasve that "I give a shit" advantage that the others don't seem to have.
Maybe I'll make buttons.
The most recent development in the skipping saga: I have Erick 2nd period. He was there. I have his test. I also have him 3rd period, he wasn't there. 4th period he came to my class to ask for scissors. Apparently during 3rd period he went to go buy a new memory chip for his cell phone. After looking at his grades and seeing that he has a 32 he's decided to write that up as a Confederate cause... that's right folks, a 32. At least it is better than the kid that comes every day and still has a 12.7.
On the other side of the equation my classes are small and hasve that "I give a shit" advantage that the others don't seem to have.
Maybe I'll make buttons.
The most recent development in the skipping saga: I have Erick 2nd period. He was there. I have his test. I also have him 3rd period, he wasn't there. 4th period he came to my class to ask for scissors. Apparently during 3rd period he went to go buy a new memory chip for his cell phone. After looking at his grades and seeing that he has a 32 he's decided to write that up as a Confederate cause... that's right folks, a 32. At least it is better than the kid that comes every day and still has a 12.7.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Friday, December 01, 2006
Inclimate weather
The number one problem with going to school online... classes don't get cancelled for weather.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Blind Dates
So my seventeen year old friend Vince decided it would be nice to set me up with his Latin teacher. "Kate Kepler, it just rolls of your tongue." So he arranged it and I got the phone call tonight.
"Hello, Kate."
"Yes."
"My name is JK and I have a student who I think you know, Vincent. He gave me a list of things to ask you..."
Does it sound like a scavenger hunt yet?
"Vincent's clever isn't he."
"Well he's not doing too well in my class right now, I'm not sure if this is an attempt to endear himself to me or not."
That was a real winner of a line... but he can hold a conversation on the phone, which makes him better than the deaf guy someone set me up with. Not that I have anything against the deaf. We just don't have much to talk about.
As for Vince's grade, I think his parents give him money for anything over a C. I think I should get a cut.
"Hello, Kate."
"Yes."
"My name is JK and I have a student who I think you know, Vincent. He gave me a list of things to ask you..."
Does it sound like a scavenger hunt yet?
"Vincent's clever isn't he."
"Well he's not doing too well in my class right now, I'm not sure if this is an attempt to endear himself to me or not."
That was a real winner of a line... but he can hold a conversation on the phone, which makes him better than the deaf guy someone set me up with. Not that I have anything against the deaf. We just don't have much to talk about.
As for Vince's grade, I think his parents give him money for anything over a C. I think I should get a cut.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Mz. Borden
Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father forty-one.
In other news for the first time in 25 years I've done something that Matt approved of. He didn't turn it around with some dry snide remark. He gave me a hug. It caught me off guard. Go me.
And gave her mother forty whacks.
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father forty-one.
In other news for the first time in 25 years I've done something that Matt approved of. He didn't turn it around with some dry snide remark. He gave me a hug. It caught me off guard. Go me.
Thanksgiving
Another Thanksgiving has come and gone and once again nine days of not working a) make me think that I need a vocational change and b) make me glad I have nine days of not working.
It was a good break and I'm headed into Monday with a monstrous project draft due, no good lesson plan for government class (I'm feeling so uninspired) this whole week... which is ok because someone seemed to think it was a good idea to take all the seniors out on field trips all week long. I did do a bunch of stuff though - I hung out with the surrogate family and the blood family and didn't go to the Renaissance Festival. I bought toilet paper, made cookie dough, played trivia games for 10 hours, tried to write up Christmas shopping lists, held a game night, and spent a lot of time in prayer.
I need a job that doesn't require me to spend my free time thinking about it, cause I've got other stuff I should be doing too... stuff that shouldn't have to wait until my next long vacation. Which, by the way, is in three weeks.
It was a good break and I'm headed into Monday with a monstrous project draft due, no good lesson plan for government class (I'm feeling so uninspired) this whole week... which is ok because someone seemed to think it was a good idea to take all the seniors out on field trips all week long. I did do a bunch of stuff though - I hung out with the surrogate family and the blood family and didn't go to the Renaissance Festival. I bought toilet paper, made cookie dough, played trivia games for 10 hours, tried to write up Christmas shopping lists, held a game night, and spent a lot of time in prayer.
I need a job that doesn't require me to spend my free time thinking about it, cause I've got other stuff I should be doing too... stuff that shouldn't have to wait until my next long vacation. Which, by the way, is in three weeks.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Trivia Towns
Cities Large and Small Battle It Out to Lay Claim for Having the Smartest People in the Country
NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif.--(BUSINESS WIRE)--March 7, 2006--Los Angeles, home to starlets, surfers and brainiacs? The team that tabulates the results of the new Trivial Pursuit(R) mobile game today revealed the ten highest scoring area codes in the U.S., with L.A. leading the pack. From Hollywood to the Big Apple, Capitol Hill and the Great Lakes, cities large and small from all over the country battle it out to lay claim for having the smartest people in the country.
Area codes graduating at the top of their Trivial Pursuit mobile game class are(a):
1. 323, Los Angeles, CA
2. 917, New York, NY
3. 703, Washington, DC
4. 281, Houston, TX
5. 617 Boston, MA
6. 510, Oakland, CA
7. 302, Wilmington, DE
8. 414, Milwaukee, WI
9. 949, Irvine, CA
10. 614, Columbus, OH
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Waiting on the World to Change
me and all my friends
we're all misunderstood
they say we stand for nothing and
there's no way we ever could
now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's hard to beat the system
when we're standing at a distance
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change
now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
[ these lyrics found on completealbumlyrics.com ]
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want
that's why we're waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
it's not that we don't care,
we just know that the fight ain't fair
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
and we're still waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
one day our generation
is gonna rule the population
so we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
we keep on waiting
waiting on the world to change
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Limited English Proficient
Every now and then one of my bilingual kids says something really funny. Today was perhaps the oddest.
"Miss, last night I dreamt with you."
"Dreamt with me, Angel?"
'Yeah I dreamt with you."
I smiled and nodded. "I don't think so, Angel."
"I did, I dreamt you killed someone."
"You dreamt of me, you didn't dream with me."
"No I... Oh yeah." Blushes.
So I figure I can be the County Clerk or something. Can't be that hard. Even Rhodes said he'd vote if I ran. Or at least say he voted to make me feel better.
I think I'm going to be $20 richer by the end of the night.
:-)
"Miss, last night I dreamt with you."
"Dreamt with me, Angel?"
'Yeah I dreamt with you."
I smiled and nodded. "I don't think so, Angel."
"I did, I dreamt you killed someone."
"You dreamt of me, you didn't dream with me."
"No I... Oh yeah." Blushes.
So I figure I can be the County Clerk or something. Can't be that hard. Even Rhodes said he'd vote if I ran. Or at least say he voted to make me feel better.
I think I'm going to be $20 richer by the end of the night.
:-)
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Guy Fawkes
Guy Fawkes Day is a funny celebration.
It is a funny celebration because, in reality, we are celebrating a foiled plot. Guy Fawkes was caught, Parliament wasn't bombed and then he and his co conspirators were executed. Noble cause or not in a day where we live in fear of terrorists overthrowing our government maybe we do need to celebrate the foiled plots.
Still, it seems sometimes Guy is a hero. Sometimes governments need to be challenged, okay maybe not murder the king but you know what I mean.
All this said, Sam's right, there isn't a lot of difference between our candidates. Same shit different pile. Maybe some shit needs to be burned. Maybe I'll run with the socialist party. Anyone want to sign my petition?
It is a funny celebration because, in reality, we are celebrating a foiled plot. Guy Fawkes was caught, Parliament wasn't bombed and then he and his co conspirators were executed. Noble cause or not in a day where we live in fear of terrorists overthrowing our government maybe we do need to celebrate the foiled plots.
Still, it seems sometimes Guy is a hero. Sometimes governments need to be challenged, okay maybe not murder the king but you know what I mean.
All this said, Sam's right, there isn't a lot of difference between our candidates. Same shit different pile. Maybe some shit needs to be burned. Maybe I'll run with the socialist party. Anyone want to sign my petition?
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