I have a new crush, a new crush in the pure sense of "what can they do for me?" I can assure you it isn't physical. It isn't mental. It is positively parasitic.
Background: Long story short they don't really trust teachers at school. Particularly with things like school supplies. I think they think we must be selling the pencils on the black market. Don't ask for letterhead and DON'T ask for a stapler. You are allowed one for your entire tenure no matter what child took out all the springs and joints. To attain other supplies you must ask (someone who is irritated) for access to the closet (or sneak in when it has accidentally been left open). It has become a game. I've made off with dry erase markers and 1000s of post-its (TM), I've horded colored pencils and markers. I've contemplated getting cases of white out and selling it to the prostitutes across the street.
My crush: Her name is Maria. Her primary assets include having the key to the supply closet at work. I can ask her for pencils and she gives me pencils. We got along splendidly, I liked her. She liked me... but I think there is more. Yesterday my printer ran out of ink. In the midst of grades (where I print spreadsheet after spreadsheet giving the kids "updates" of their grades I ran out of ink. I went to my new friend. I asked her for ink. "#56 please." She LET ME INTO THE CLOSET WITH her. There were more... I dared... could I have two (it is kinda like buying insurance)????? Now in the past I've either a) resorted to coming back two hours later and asking another girl for a second cartridge, but Maria was kind. She wasn't going to make me do that. I took it. It pushed her farther, for in the back of the cabinet I saw it. I saw it #57 tri color ink cartridge. I had heard rumors of such things, but had been unable to confirm its presence. There it was, ans she let me have it. I stuffed them into my coat pockets and left the office undetected, wishing not to draw attention to my new found treasures. I don't want my room broken into.... I had been colorless for 2 years; two years of living in shades of gray. But Maria, Maria... she is an angel... and now my world is brilliant Kodak color.
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2 comments:
You're crazy.
-Sam
You've obviously never worked in a school. The people with the most power are the secretaries and the custodians. In our library we have to hide the extension cords because staff get the custodians to let them in and take them!
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