Some of you might have heard I recently moved to Ohio. I needed a change in scenery and Ohio seemed like the place to be. I mean, it's the Buckeye State and home to the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame and my brothers, the Wrights. I also have some adorable cousins there. So I left the Dirty Third Coast and headed for milder climates.
I don't have a teaching certificate for Ohio, and unlike in Texas they care. So while I'm waiting I decided to just get a job... any job... and the first I picked up was at the Petland here in Cleveland. Boring I know, and certainly not on my FBI agent career path.
My first day on the job I sold a guinea pig and two rabbits. A cat bit me (you want to see my scar, you'll have to come visit me) and I struggled to learn how to net the fish and put them in the little bag. I got good at it eventually, but this job wasn't as easy as it looks.
My second day on the job was the same, though there was a little bit of excitement. A boa constrictor disappeared from its cage. We looked everywhere for it, and I was a bit afraid I'd left the tank opened a crack. I was prepared to be fired. This job really isn't as easy as it looks. Children are much easier to threaten than snakes. Snakes are pure evil. The manager got the golden idea of looking at the security tapes to see if we could find where it went... it was then we discovered it had been stolen. A boy and woman had lifted the boa, the boy put it under his coat while the mother served as a lookout. The boa had no security device and the theft went unnoticed. We filed the report and I didn't get fired.
My third day on the job I sold a couple of toads and another rabbit in the morning. Not nearly as exciting as the previous day. After lunch a boy and his mother came in and asked for a book on taking care of boa constrictors. They looked familiar. Having given them the book they pointed to the now empty snake cage and asked again "this book will help us take care of the snake that was in this tank yesterday, right?" I'm not an idiot; but they are.
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2 comments:
Ah. Tracy was hoping to meet you when she went to Houston in February. Guess not.
Is the sudden change something that could use prayer? Let us know through Ben or Bethany. I'm sure if you wanted it out in the world you would have done so.
Two comments com to mind:
1. Who's going to pay the rent? Not all that big of a deal since you're the one who signed the lease, and I can get the parents to strongarm you.
2. You misspelled the coast you live on. Properly, it's the "Drrrty Third Coast.' Represent.
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