Dear Big Brother,
I hear from the news that you are still watching me. I know you SAID that you are only watching those that are connected to Al-Queda. Those who Al-Queda supposively called or who called Al-Queda. Or anyone you thought might have been Al-Queda. I figure if we've got some web of anyone within six degrees of Osama I'm probably in there. I mean, I've played Six degrees of Kevin Bacon, I know the whole world is connected.
So anyway, I know you are watching me so I feel the need to explain one of my most recent purchases. Ok... here we go. I bought The Dukes of Hazard soundtrack. I didn't pay cash, so you'll know it was me. Now first things first I never saw the movie, or rather I haven't seen the movie yet. I bought the CD because I was looking for a "good collection of Southern Rock." I'll admit there were some selections in the 2 CDs for $5.99 aisle but well, I just can't trust a collection that doesn't have Skynard AND the Allman Brothers. It just couldn't be complete. Lest you think I'm going to insite a Second Civil War (I do work for a school named after a Confederate general and I am teaching "states rights" and "individual freedoms" in history class) I'll explain - it is for my Dad's birthday. He doesn't listen to "music" as most of us would, he focuses on a steady rotation of A) Four Tops B) Temptations C) CCR and occasionally the Beach Boys... something is going to have to change.
I can also explain the recent purchase of 20 boxes of Jiffy; my recent trip to Alabama; 3 gallons of hairspray, and the bussle.
The Union forever,
Kate
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1 comment:
Kate,
I couldn't help but correct all (or at least most, there's so many) of your spelling errors. 1. Al Qaeda is the terrorist organization associated with Bin Laden. 2. This one is odd because you chided Mom for it recently, but the proper spelling is Lynyrd Skynyrd. There's a trick to it: if you're using a vowel that isn't 'y,' you're doing it wrong. 3. You wouldn't 'incite' a Second Civil War, not insite.
Annoyingly yours,
Sam
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