Greetings from the Apple Cube

I love my brother. He is awesome. He's a lot of fun and keeps me out of a lot of trouble. He is taking good care of Speedy and the fish, though I don't know the name of the fish.

Hey there roommie

It was pointed out at a funeral this weekend that there is a foil in my blog... my littlest brother Sam. Love you Sam!

I just wanted to let you know I won't be home the next few nights, I'd like you to pick me up from the airport at 9:00PM on Friday. Thanks man!

I'm a Maniac

For the second time in my life I will be a Maniac.

Yet again the illustrious and irreplaceable Dr. A ordered me a Master's robe from the University of Maine. So I'm gonna drop out of school, I mean I already have the degree and everything.

At least the blue is pretty.

Its The End of the World As We Know It

The problem with idioms

Will I ever learn?

My seniors did a budget project where one of their goals was to create a "rainy day fund." They had to figure out how to save 2 months of their income in the next year for an emergency fund (also stated on the instructions).

Apparently they aren't all familiar with the term:

"If I have to evacuate for a natural disaster, I'll have money to support myself."

"I really don't need to buy anything for watery or rainy days."

"For certain period of the year I would save money for the natural diaster in case there are any parts of it I need to face. I will need some items that will from the nature and I would have to figure out how many I will need and that type items I need as cushions. I would have to know how much that's going to cost me in total. Im reallu not aware of this situation right now so I would most likely to save $5 a day to buy the right products I need for the wet atmosphere."

Momma said there'd be days like this...

When I was in high school I used to complain that I was busy and therefore tired.
When I was in college I used to complain that I was busy and therefore tired.
When I first started teaching I used to complain that I was too busy and therefore tired.

That wasn't that bad...

Oh, by the way Sam - I'm going to New York next week. I am, I am, I am.

I'll send you a post card.

Gas Prices and Batting Averages

It is baseball season and while most of you are thinking of "line drives" I have some other thoughts on the "driving season."

According to the American Automoblie Association the national gas price is $3.21/gallon. In Houston it is still lower, given that we well uh... own the... uh... well the gas doesn't have as far to travel. Yeah that's it.

Still, the national average is 321, which puts it equal to Kiki Cuyler's carrer batting average. By July we should hit Ty Cobb's.

Here's to insignificant data.

Shrek The Third

This one was about what I expected. Funny, but still more of the same.

I was disappointed by the greater use of non-fairy tale allusions. Did you know Wizard of Oz was a fairy tale? What about Lord of the Rings?

You should see it, though maybe not just yet.

You just can't surprise me...

Two teachers from my neck of the woods are leaving: Rhodes and I.

A certain boy, known by many as "the cookie man" came by my room today for me to sign a going away/good luck card for Rhodes. Then he asked if I wanted to contribute to a gift. Then he told me that whatever I gave I'd get half back.

Then he explained the math. Give me $5, Miss, and you'll get $2.50 back.

Attention numismatists!

Save your Texas Quarters!

Hang on to any of the new Texas Quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.

The US Mint announced that it is recalling all of the Texas quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or any other coin operated devices.

The problem lies in the unique design of the Texas quarter, which was designed by a team of Austin specialists.
Apparently the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming up the machines.

{Ok that was an e-mail forward... sorry}

Ye ol' hockey injuries

I played 12 gamed of hockey yesterday.

Today my arm kinda hurts and my thumb has a bruise.

I was .667.

Christian Love and Crazy Ladies

On Wednesday I got home to find that a woman by the name of Rosemary had called and left a message on my machine. She got my number from "Patty at church" and she wanted to come to my Sunday School class and wanted some information.

Strange yes, but it's happened before so I called her back.

She did want to come to my class "the singles class..." It is the singles class cause I'm in it. She said she was a little old for the class, but she really wanted to come to church - since she hadn't been there in awhile.

There was only one problem... she needed a ride, but only for this Sunday. After that she'd have a friend bring her. Ok... not a problem, I can probably get someone to do that (not going to be me by myself for sure).

But oh wait... she lives "kinda far" as in by the airport. A solid hour's drive there and back. Huh. Ok. So I called the church and told them about it. Sound's fishy, yes, but who am I to make that decision... not sure I want her in my Sunday school class though. My mom swore she's talked to her before...

And why did they give out my phone number?

So all is fine in my world. Until she called again on Friday. I didn't get home 'til later so I didn't call her back. Then she called again. At 9AM on Saturday. Okay, this lady is nuts.

Someone though still volunteered to bring her, with the idea that she clearly needed help (actually I think it is all just a scam at this point, but you know...).

She didn't make it to church though. Apparently if you look up her name on the Internet (I never got the right spelling) there are a couple places that say she's done this before.
Apparently then she asks for money from everyone and gives a speech during the prayer requests. That would have been awesome.

So something "came up" and we can't pick her up, but we are looking forward to seeing her next week when she has her own ride... which she won't have.

Other random fact: I'm pretty sure she's been to our church before.

No really...

Telling me you invited your whole family to graduation will not mean I will pass you. It is your fault for not looking at the progress report in the last 15 weeks.

This was a poor gamble and that will be the other thing you learn.

How to II

The title of this blog is how to throw an international party (aka Model UN) in under 45 minutes

Food:
1) Go to Fiesta.
2) Go to the Asian candy section. Buy anything you saw Laurie or Raya eat in 2002.
3) Go to the Asian drink section. Buy anything that you have heard of at the bubble tea place.
4) Go to the Hispanic snacks section. Buy anything that you can translate into something that doesn't sound like "lucas."
5) Go to the Goya and Junta juice section. Buy anything that doesn't have a dented can.
6) Go to the German candy section. Avoid chocolate cause it will melt in the car (see 9).
7) Go to the European cookie section. Drool.
8) Buy anything at the bakery in Spanish. (for future reference "Quesadillas con arroz Cheesecake" are not little mini cheese cake) Stick to cinnamon sugar things and flakey lookin' things.
9) Buy plain Lays and 7up for anyone that isn't adventurous.
10) Put it in the back of your car.
11) Stow the drinks in the cooler the next morning.
12) Park at the back gate and offer bonus to anyone to help you carry it.

Games:
I need a little help here. My selection was Mad Gab... an interesting game for English language speakers with a thick accent and minimal literacy in American culture. I won hands down. Which means, guys, the girls won this battle of the sexes.

I did this once before, only it was for a tapas night. This will explain the various selections of olives and dips that are still in our fridge.

If you are interested all of this is still in the back of my car. Anyone want to tailgate?

On Maymesters

Crunching a semesters worth of work into ten weeks is not fun. Crushing a semesters worth of work into three weeks is less fun.

So if you don't hear from me... it doesn't mean I'm dead.

Give me your tired masses...

Here is an article for you to read.

So what you are really saying, Sooners, is that you don't want illegal immigrants. Big surprise.

Now let's review your demographics. From the 2000 Census we have...
76.2% White; 7.9% American Indian; 1.4% Asian; 5.2% Spanish Speaking

Which is actually more diverse than most of your neighbors.

Fairy Princesses

I think I like the prom where I teach more than the prom I went to in '99.

I like it more than my own because I know more people there that I like. The food is better and it is free for me. On a less superficial level, I also like it because of the kids that are there. I suppose in a lot of ways it is a chance for them to be someone outside of themselves even if just for one night. I flipped through my pictures (I'm not posting them here for obvious reasons). On the surface they are just a bunch of good looking (though sometimes awkward) kids. Their stories are not so good looking. They have made it this far though, a few weeks from graduating (or maybe it will be August) and that by itself is a miracle.

There's kids who are permanently physically effected by their parent's drug habits; homeless children whose parents have left to go back to their own country, there's mothers and future mothers as well as fathers. There are children who have survived civil wars and witnessed massacres, children who have been in and out of CPS. Those who didn't evacuate early from hurricanes and found shelter in the Superdome. Children that work till 2AM and come to school at 8:30. Those are just the ones that let me take their pictures. There are some that are the first in their families to go to college and some we are thrilled will graduate from high school.

I shouldn't call them children, they are hardly naive or dependent.

These are what has made my teaching career a learning experience. I hope that I'm not walking away from them, but finding a different way to be a part of their lives and continue to learn from them. I wish that I knew what that will look like.

Pastis is still my hero

Benchmarks

The newest of the Iraq funding bills features a measurement tool known as "benchmarks." This is a tool to measure the progress of our troops as they turn over security responsibilities to the Iraqi police.

The thing that bothers me the most is that this idea of "benchmarks"* is also how we measure student progress mastering objectives before the TAKS tests. If we are running our wars like Texas runs its education systems we might be doomed from the start.

Do we get to declare our military Title I?
Does that mean the Marines will get free and reduced lunch?
How much suck money will Congress give to maintaining the Green Zone?
At what point will we reconstitute it all?

Support our troops.

*Since AVI linked to this page with a big fat "ouch" I thought I should explain exactly what "benchmarks" might mean in Texas education. There are two ways in which I've heard the term used:

1) I know elementary school teachers that give them to test if their students will do well on a particular objective on the TAKS test. TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) isn't that unlike an MCAS test, and very much the product of NCLB. Actually since Rob Paige (former secretary of Education under the Bush administration) WAS the Superintendent of HISD I think I could argue that the whole thing is his fault... anyway... benchmarks are just that an assessment before the assessment to predict success (and theoretically prescribe interventions).

2) Benchmarks are used in our Algebra I program. I'm not a math teacher but this is the jist: If you pass 70% of the benchmark tests you will earn credit for Algebra I. To pass you need a 70% on the test. You may take the test as many times as you want. So, to demonstrate mastery in Algebra I you need to get 49% of the problems right... eventually. Not all the tests are multiple choice, but I will remind you that a monkey with a pencil will get 25%. So my theory is if you care one iota any student should be able to earn an A in Algebra I... cause eventually the test bank will start repeating. If the cashiers at my McDonald's were only right 49% of the time I'd be upset.

Breakfast

I haven't scratched my butt today, but I would like to share that by 1PM today I will have eaten breakfast four times in 24 hours. Yeah for crepe night and Teacher Appreciation Day!

Why I haven't written much lately...

Variety is the spice of life

Some of you might remember the post about all the stuff in our fridge.

Yesterday I made quesadillas. Tonight I made tacos. Maybe I'll just drink the salsa.

Airport friends

The previously mentioned Neal has a theory on social capital that is worth noting.

You can assess your friendships on "the airport test." Who among your friends would you be willing to, in a pinch, take to the airport at 6AM? Who among your friends would you be willing to ask to take you to the airport at 6AM? At what point would you look up "taxi" in the yellow pages?

He believes you should have no fewer than five. Some of these should actually live in the same city that you do.

Cinco de Mayo

...on seis de Mayo.

For those of you out their questioning this idea of Cinco de Mayo and it's legitimacy as a holiday I would like to add a little fuel to your fire. I'm recognizing that most of my readers are not from Texas, and if they are they are transplants.

I myself am a transplant, but I was firmly enough indoctrinated that all of the tar on my heels has succumbed to the Texas turpentine. Not all of you were so lucky to take two years of Texas history in grade school.

So I will enlighten.

Cinco de Mayo is "the first date that the Mexicans kicked the French out of Mexico" or rather," it is the day that they won a battle against France on Mexican soil." It took place in 1862. It really only delayed the invasion by a few months, in 1863 the French took Mexico City but in 1867 the French had been kicked out for good and the Mexicans were free to rule themselves by their own dictators and politically corrupt parties. It is not Independence Day, that is September 16th.

Mexicans don't really celebrate Cinco de Mayo in Mexico. They do, in Puebla (the site of the battle), but not really anywhere else... oh, except in the United States. It is a symbol for "the
victory of the underdog" and "overcoming great odds..."

About those French. Apparently they at one time had a sizable force worthy of contention. They took over part of East Texas once, (I think over there by Vider, home of the KKK) again for a brief period before some ladies with shotguns ran them back to Louisiana. Sounds kinda like the aftermath of Katrina in a way, doesn't it? Anyway, that was short lived too and it explains the most obscure of the "six flags over Texas." Can you name the other five?

And while we are at it, what was the name of the other Texas massacre of 1836?

Spidy

Spider-Man 3 was exactly as incoherent as it needed to be. Absurdly perfect. It helps to know someone who read the comic books explain how all the logical leaps are made... still you wonder what exactly provoked the butler after A MOVIE AND A HALF...

Anyway... I drove home and parked and who should appear but the one we will now call "the lump" on my couch. Such are the benefits of living in such a prime location. I wonder if we can claim him as a tax deduction, maybe then I'll get my $1200.

Apparently I can't do my taxes either

I'm supposed to get $1200 back from the government this year. They deposited $9.90.
What the heck?

One thing down and...

Model UN is now officially over. The conference came and went with only one minor hitch - the bus was an hour late. Typical of large institutions I think. My group of *very* international kids represented DPRK, Finland, and Guatemala.

I was thinking of having a little party when things settle down a bit (after all the AP tests) and serve Korean food (yum), Guatemalan food (maybe not all the beans and rice), and Finnish food. I don't know much about Finnish food and I don't know any Finnish restaurants around here. Or Finnish grocery stores. Maybe I'll go to Ikea and call it even.

So with that done (Thank you Honorable Chair) I'm off to what's next... cleaning out my classroom closet. That will take all of next week.

Spider-Man 3 tonight. NPR said it was "not coherent" as though it was made simultaneously by two different directors and edited together. I'll post the review tonight, after a dessert of assuredly non vegan cupcakes.

Why class is going to stay on topic the rest of the year...

It is the end of the year. Everyone is tired, including me. The illustrious tests are over and we are awaiting our results. Everyone is on field trips and field days all the time, I doubt I'll actually get to teach again in my career. Ok, that isn't true... but it sure seems like it.

Nevertheless we are going to maintain the firm "my life ain't your business" policy that I am so fond of.

1) One of my girls asked me in class (in the middle of something important, I'm sure) "Miss do you have a boyfriend?" "No" was my reply, "then where did you get that hickey?" It was a bite a mosquito or something but whatever, she wasn't going to believe me... just like I don't believe she is just gaining a little weight.

2) One of my guys asked me to prom twice.

3) Someone else asked me (we'll call him Jeff - I have no students with such Anglo names) if I was bringing anyone, "think so," I answered. "Is it your brother, Miss?" (Sam is a bit of a secondary character in most of my stories). "Don't think so." Later in the period Lilly asked me where to get a cheap prom dress. Having recently toured Houston looking for a groomsmaid dress (sans halter top) I actually had an answer, including "there's one on Harwin... Imports something that has a bunch of dresses, all sorts... including $45 wedding dresses." Jeff heard this, and being the spastic kid that he is concluded "Miss you're getting married?!!?!?!?!" "No Jeff, I'm not" "Misss we get to meet your man. Do I get to be in your wedding?" "Sure Jeff sure" "Weeeeehheeeee Miss, heeeehhhhaaahee." (Note: I've failed miserably at transcribing this).

So Wymans, apparently I'm gonna marry your son and apparently Jeff is in our wedding. He's a 6'7" black boy that smells like stale cheese. Jeff... not your son.

Homonyms

My students are spelling "write" and "right" wrong...
I know it is confusing... I might have messed them up for life.

Addresses

Today I went to pick my friend up at an office.

Unfortunately the address she gave me was a UPS Store.

Ooops.