Doping for sports

As big a fan of Barry Bonds as I might be (that was sarcasm) I've never thought doping was

a) a good idea
b) healthy
c) fair
d) sportsmanly

Yet I found myself in the same boat last night. Once a quarter my dad organizes a blood drive at the church. He's known as the church vampire, because if you have not been eliminated from the blood pool he knows your name, address, and telephone number... and in my case blood type. Which by the way is the really desirable kind. He also doesn't take no for an answer very easily, particularly from someone he helped feed and clothe for eighteen years (that would be me and my brother).

Now I haven't gotten a tattoo in the past twelve months, so I was the only child left to give blood today. Problem is I always fail the pretest.

I've never failed a test so many times in all my life. Not even the Massachusetts Literacy test for Educators (biased as it may be). I always come in with a low iron count. I've watched my blood fall in the copper sulfate to watch it float back up minutes later. They always run that little machine and come back to tell me my hematocrit is .4 points (or whatever units they are measuring) too low.

I remembered I was giving blood this morning, or at least I was on the schedule. So I doped, I admit it. 300% of my recommended daily allowance of iron at night, another 300% with two eggs this morning. I passed, with flying colors; and my pee hasn't changed color or anything.

Of course they didn't quite hit my vain and they could only take a partial bag of red cells and a few platelets... I'm going to have a bruise.