I <3 Garrison Keillor

Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House. That's the farthest anyone who wears a dress has gotten since J. Edgar Hoover.

The real reason you can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse is that you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of politicians… It creates a hostile work environment.

Saddam Hussein tells his jailer that he wants to write his memoirs, and he needs a stenographer. The jailer returns with a laptop computer. Saddam says, "I cannot write my own memoirs! I AM A DICTATOR!!"

What's the difference between "Congress" and the "Library of Congress"? n the Library of Congress you can't mess with the pages.

President Bush's State of the Union speech got higher ratings than American Idol. Millions of people tuned in thinking they could vote him off.

In his State of the Union address President Bush said the economy is on the move . It's moving to India.

Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9." The disciples looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus mean -- the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9? Peter said, "Don't worry. It's just another one of his parabolas."

Have you heard of the new chainsaw, it runs only on a single double A battery, and two cups of salt to run all of its electrical systems. It is charged with a salt and battery.

What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission chips.

Thanks for indulging me. There's more here.