Systems Analysis

"Hi" it's been awhile.

Haven't been up to too too much. Classes started earlier than I expected, I only have half my textbooks. I also found out that my midterm in my Systems Analysis class will be my last day in Budapest and I can't take it early. Or at least that request wasn't addressed. Annoying since once of the reasons I picked that class over another was because it is project based, and those usually don't have midterms. Plus I'm going to learn a lot... still my life this semester is going to look a lot more like IT than IS.

Speaking of Systems Analysis:

The Presbyterian Church, or rather the Presbytery of the New Covenant is now preparing for disaster. This comes two years after Katrina and almost two years after Rita. You know, when everyone that watched Fox News left town... and those that sat back and thought "28 feet above sea level and 50 miles inland, I think I'll stay home" were left with four days off work and no place to go (see mass evacuation that left the city without gas and the highways packed in all directions).

The Presbytery is collecting the names of two elders in each church to coordinate in case of a disaster. They added the caveat that these people should be able to "text" (which I can only now assume is a verb). Let us now see how this plan is a little bit silly:

1) Presbyterian elders are typically well over the age of 40. On my little Session I'm the youngest, the next youngest is 45, maybe even 50. They can't hear in Session, see this post, (Note: this month "Bill's" hearing aid was still ringing) much less hear their phones ring. Or heaven forbid "text." So... I'm guessing the pool of available ambassadors is fairly small.

2) This is the Presbyterian Church. It took us two years to find a minister, which was largely because of them (ok, and interventions of the Holy Spirit) but in a business sense it was totally their inefficiency. I think we would be more likely to be rescued from our rooftops by the federal government than by the P.C.U.S.A.

3) Most of the disaster relief funds in the Presbytery in last few years were embezzled (or misdirected anyway). If they did get all the sign offs to help (before or after) there isn't any money for it anyway.

Solution: In the event of an emergency become a Baptist, at least they know how to swim.

AAA

Ok, it is an e-mail forward...

To: Mr. Clayton Yeutter
Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.

Dear Sir,

My friends, Wayne and Janelle, over at Wichita Falls, Texas received a
check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.
So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best type of
farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to
raise?

I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all
government policies. I would prefer not to raise Razor hogs, but if
that is not a good breed not to raise, then I can just as easily not raise
Yorkshires or Durocs.

My friend Wayne is very excited about the future of this business. He has
been raising hogs for 20 years and the most he ever made was $420 in 1978,
until this year, when he got your check for $1,000 for not raising hogs.

If I can get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for
not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first,
holding myself down to not raising about 4,000 hogs, which will give me
$80,000 income the first year. Then I can buy an airplane to better keep
track of the hogs I'm not raising.

As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an
accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.

Now another thing: these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000
bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not
raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising
wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?

I want to get started not feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be
a good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain and I don't want to
miss the best of the season.

I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me
any information on that also.

In view of these circumstances, I understand that the government will
consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for unemployment and
food stamps as well.

Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections.

Patriotically yours,

Otis Deal

PS: Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free
cheese.

Missing it a bit

My friends the teachers are back at work today, or rather they have been for week now. Actually they might have the day off. I don't know. I've tried to keep up with the gossip.

They've been in the dreaded SLC meetings for two days straight... the thought of which hasn't made me miss teaching. I think I am going to miss it though, once school starts. So I thought I'd get a fix. Sorry for the subtitles... maybe you can learn Spanish while you're at it.

Erin

For those of you who are not in Houston I would like to provide you with the following image.



This is what you call "the dirty side of the storm." All reports on a radio would indicate that the storm was hitting Corpus and South Padre. While technically true it would leave out for the fact that this is my errand day.

Today I... went to the bank (actually three banks, after making phone calls to indicate they would indeed have a notary available... apparently there is a conspiracy to not give bank notaries their stamps in a timely manner and all the other managers are new), I went to the post office where I mailed said notarized package and where they did not have the stamps I wanted (this will be delayed). I also went to pick up a package and sign my lease because the rain had let up. By the time I actually got to sign the lease, however, the rain was coming down in torrents and the puddles in the parking lot were turning from lakes to seas.

At two I have to be at the museum, site of all the flooding in 2001. Joy of joys. Oh, and then to the Dikeman's and to the Gordon's. I've been stranded at all of those before.

I'm pretty sick of the rain, pretty sick of the lakes turning into seas and the rivers turning to straits. But it didn't rain when we were camping. So I don't feel totally smited.

What I did today at work...

In a conversation about noses...

Online learning

I looked up my grades today. Seems in one class (previously known as the bull shit class) they posted my final without actually giving me credit for writing my final or turning it in. At all. Awesome.

Censorship?

I read the comics online... yesterday this came from the Houston Chronicle:



But is a repeat, from maybe two weeks ago. This is what went out in Google Reader (by the way Google thinks "Google" is mistyped). Anyway, this is what came out in Google Reader:



Why would you censor that?

Endless summer...

I have three (hopefully two) days left on my classes. I took three this summer (actually 12, but that's another story) all in the name of an easier fall. I think my lowest grade is going to come from what I'm calling the "bull shit class" which I knew would be "easy" but well, didn't think would be total bull shit. Seems they care if a colon comes after my name or not... or at least I think thats what they care about cause I never get back any feedback than a number. Bleh. So thats almost over... Whatever. Blogs are meant to bring delight so I'll spare you from the bitching.

Folks at church keep asking when school starts. I'm not really sure what they are asking, since memories (if they had them) are short. Their questions rarely match what is actually going on in my life. This school starting thing is a complicated subject. Texas, in its infinite wisdom, voted to push back the start of school till the last week of summer. Something about saving money on the air conditioning. Actually I'm pretty sure they had this vote when I was in high school. So the vote was actually not to have as many waivers for school districts wanting that early start.

Doesn't matter, they will have turned on everything in HISD two weeks before... thats when the teachers have to report to not miss a paycheck. Other teachers are going back the week after (and not missing a paycheck, funny how that works). I'm going back labor day weekend... but that isn't the question they are asking.

I would also like to introduce you to the concept of niche marketing.

In other news I got the wedding invitation for Granddad's wedding. Kate spells Catherine the way I spell Katharine. The wright way. Yuck yuck yuck.

Oh... if I asked you what did James Wright invent as a substitute for rubber during World War II would you know it?

Or what state do you have to visit to see the Grand Canyon?

Or what actor married his long time girlfriend Anne Stringfield on July 22nd?

What was Wendy in Peter Pan's last name?

Shakespeare: What was Juliet's family name?

What is the GDP per capita of Mexico?

Who was the first European to lead an over land expedition to the Pacific?

Music/FEMA: which city is too close to New Orleans?

What year did Henry of Navarre become Henry IV of France?

Who was drafted by the Trail Blazers in 1974, played for the Clippers and finished with the Celtics?

Who had his mural removed in New York over a controversy that it had a portrait of Lenin?

And finally... If Indiana is the 19th state, and California is the 31st. Name seven states that fell in between.

Budapest is for lovers?

So I was reading today about Budapest... long walks along the river, the best places to see the sunset. Oooolala good thing Bethany's going.

Ohh... and there's a bar called "Paris, Texas" cheers to hoping I can go line dancing in Hungary.

Simpsonize Me

I'm really just posting in response to Bethany these days. I'm a bit of a follower... cause I've found that as a leader... I don't often have sheep. I'd tried the Simpsonizing business when it first came out, when the servers were too small to facilitate the demand for Simpsonizing. Then I forgot about it. Here though, is the newest picture.





I kinda wish they could have me posing next to Milhouse. Cause that would be awesome.